Sex and Intimacy: Blown job - FML

Blown job

By Noname - 12/03/2009 09:30 - New Zealand

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 955

You deserved it 339 270

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Same thing different taste

Beam me up!

By saynotochrispine - 28/07/2009 04:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that we could try living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 313

You deserved it 7 959

By May - 04/09/2011 04:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 814

You deserved it 6 263

By Anonymous - 01/10/2009 05:56 - Canada

Spicy

Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 500

You deserved it 44 097

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 600

You deserved it 6 222

By NOKHAN - 25/10/2013 17:17 - United States - Durham

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 112

You deserved it 7 252

By eeh - 07/05/2009 14:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 643

You deserved it 103 460

The Force

By RobinBunny713 - 19/07/2011 03:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I said it or the fact that he seemed more turned on by it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 802

You deserved it 34 377

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 611

You deserved it 1 192

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 222

You deserved it 404

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 127

You deserved it 23 508

Next

Top comments

rebboy_2008 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 16:06

I don't know what's worse: the fact that you called her Spock or the fact that Spock was on your mind while getting a bj. Either way, you lose.

millycent 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 16:06

Why are you watching anything other than **** while getting blown? Or anything at all? Fail.

Comments

christina_xx 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 14:50

LMFAO! That's beautiful!

catface 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 14:52

+1 internets

splintercat 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 23:09

LOL HAWT. you're an idiot, but if i was your girl, i'd be more amused than anything.

Mish_fml 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 1:12

LOL @ #14. That's pretty disrespectful. Your girlfriend's working it out for you and you're watching Star Trek? I'm surprised she even let you watch Star Trek while getting a BJ. +1 facepalm.

jbf741 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 1:53

very funny but....she should dump ur ass and practice with a pickle

lundo 3

Wednesday 18 March 2009 6:21

i would say i know you but clearly the guy i'm thinking of would never get a girl.

GoochSweat 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 8:27

Your mother sounds like a wonderful woman....loser

smmitffej 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 16:44

#97 FTW this is amazing

cshippee_8750 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 17:04

I'm just surprised that someone who watches star trek as much as you has a girlfriend who is willing to give head.

nafiul93 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 19:45

Who the f*ck likes getting head while watching Star Trek?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Gamers

The Top

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 433

You deserved it 46 509

Today, it was dad’s funeral and I intended to speak but I was crying so much I couldn’t finish and mom had to help me back to my seat. Unfortunately, most of our family are arseholes and I could hear someone saying, “Disgraceful, shaming his dad like that.” It was the worst day of my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 88

The Top

Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 553

You deserved it 29 261

Today, I went on a first date. It started out OK, but halfway through he began "debating" me, talking just like Ben Shapiro. I thought he was joking, or at least satirising the worst way you could talk during a date. I was wrong; he was serious. I'm still not sure what set him off, but I couldn't get a word in edgeways in after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 280

Today, I treated my out of town family to a surprise opera experience as a belated Christmas present. When we arrived, there were people already in our seats. Upon checking the tickets, I realized that I had purchased them for the following Friday instead of today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 107

You deserved it 2 065

Today, I had to be go to the ER after I fell on a rake. After having stiches put in, my Mom wanted me to go to the store with her. My friend saw me at the store and thought it would be funny to rip off the band aid because she thought I was hiding a zit. She ripped out my stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 619

You deserved it 3 038

Today, I was at a gas station when I got a bad stomach ache. I clenched my cheeks together and rushed to the nearest bathroom. Twenty minutes and a clogged toilet later, I exited the one-person bathroom to a line of very angry women. I had run into the wrong restroom. One of them threw a tampon at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 416

You deserved it 1 664

Today, my job application for McDonald's was rejected. This is the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 51