Roommate, Pranks and Health: Boiling point

Boiling point

By sharky - 05/10/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, I have a massive headache, thanks to my asshat of a roommate, who decided to balance our tea kettle on the top of the kitchen door. When I stumbled into the kitchen, half-awake, it came smashing down onto my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 110

You deserved it 2 043

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/05/2012 21:54 - United States - Spring

Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 336

You deserved it 2 191

By Monique - 10/04/2011 06:50 - United States

Today, my head has been killing me. I've had the worst headache ever. Happy that I could finally sleep, I plopped onto my bed and bashed my head on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 118

You deserved it 10 795

By hedayk - 15/05/2015 20:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 274

You deserved it 12 025

Things hate me

By WaychulMonster - 25/10/2022 10:00

Today, while trying to relax because I'm sick and I feel like crap, the shower head attachment fell and hit me on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 108

Make it stop!

By DBR - 23/04/2009 10:45 - United States

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 901

You deserved it 11 476

By bcoper - 20/02/2010 14:03 - United States

Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 397

You deserved it 3 274

Headshot

By home owner - 20/08/2010 06:14 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower for the first time in my new apartment. The shower head broke off the wall and slammed onto my head, while spraying water everywhere. I tried to stop the water, but only stopped the cold and got burnt by the hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 745

You deserved it 3 363

Slippery when wet

By anonymous - 03/01/2017 01:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 730

You deserved it 1 860

Hazardous

By Anonymous - 28/09/2016 13:08 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 271

You deserved it 2 507

By vee2013 - 26/04/2014 04:22 - Canada - London

Today, I finally decided to do something productive and clean my room. When I went to pick up the first thing off my floor, I hit my head on my desk and gave myself a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 213

You deserved it 6 933

Nightwing98 22

Saturday 6 October 2012 3:09

Wait doesn't everybody keep their tea kettle there?

IOmnomHard 10

Saturday 6 October 2012 3:10

That's when he gets a frying pan to the balls when he's sleeping.

Comments

toughchick14 15

Saturday 6 October 2012 3:28

Ouch!!!

loserboii 11

Saturday 6 October 2012 3:29

Know*

loserboii 11

Saturday 6 October 2012 3:36

That headache seems like it might have turned to a migraine.

kimg0885 23

Saturday 6 October 2012 3:37

Tell him: "pot meet kettle!" Then smash him on the head with the pot!

sugarshane007 20

Saturday 6 October 2012 4:17

Best suggestion I've seen yet!

mikepzz 27

Saturday 6 October 2012 3:38

your roommate's a dick who doesn't know how to pull of a proper prank.. teabag him in return

williamcarter93 13

Saturday 6 October 2012 4:23

You want OP to suck his roommate's balls?

nonnieluv 9

Saturday 6 October 2012 5:18

47- no he wants the roommate to suck OP's balls

teresee 8

Saturday 6 October 2012 3:52

Classic.

Warden1986 16

Saturday 6 October 2012 3:52

Yes, I recall that too. However that was a food not cast iron.

hmmmmml 0

Saturday 6 October 2012 4:14

I like eggs.

traveler_ghost 12

Saturday 6 October 2012 4:21

or worse...it could of had hot tea in it then you would have severe Burns and a headache

daliagrande 17

Saturday 6 October 2012 4:26

Your roommate is an idiot.

Keywords

Food Toxic Family Miscellaneous Gross Love Health Valentine's Day Homeowners Home improvement Kids Awkward Drugs Babysitter Music Lonely Crush Wanker Intimacy Relatable Animals Cats Work Coworkers Transportation Airplanes Embarrassing Sleep Mental health Cute

The Top

Today, I thought I'd finally mastered the art of parallel parking. Feeling proud of myself, I got out of the car to admire my handiwork, only to realise I'd parked halfway onto the sidewalk and completely blocked the entrance to a cafe. I had to sheepishly move my car while enduring the glares of annoyed pedestrians. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 418

Today, I was at a restaurant and confidently ordered in what I thought was fluent French. The waiter stared at me for a second, then responded in perfect English, "Dude, this is an Italian restaurant." FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 685

The Top

Today, I called my dad to tell him my boyfriend had proposed to me, and that we're planning on being married this summer. He was surprised at the short engagement, so I said, "Well, we're almost 30." Dad replied, "Wow, I left your mom when I was 35!" So not the conversation for that information, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 717

You deserved it 3 591

Today, my father called me to ask what my middle name is. He apparently needed to know it to remove me out from his will. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 947

You deserved it 1 128

Today, while having sex with my husband, he told me to put my legs around him, which I did. He then whispered sweetly in my ear, "You better hold on tight spider monkey." This is when I knew my Twilight obsession went too far. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 1 541

Today, I tried to sneak in at 2 a.m. after going out, since I'm 16, but I tripped over a pair of slippers and landed flat on my face. My body fell quietly, but I let out a very loud and guttural, "Oof." After about a minute, I lifted my face to see my mom standing over me. I'm now grounded for 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 2 198

Today, I'm 26. With my learning disabilities and underlying physical disabilities, I cannot work high paying intellectual jobs. I have too many repetitive stress injuries from retail and fast food jobs that I cannot go back to them without being in pain. Will I ever become independent? FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 141

Today, I woke up to people in the parking lot screaming "everybody wake up". They've been doing this at 7 every morning since I moved in 3 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 151

You deserved it 3 082