Drunk, Cops and Work: Book him!

Book him!

By Anonymous - 14/10/2010 13:42 - Reserved

Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 764

You deserved it 3 517

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Same thing different taste

By good-samaritan-fail - 06/10/2009 15:56 - Australia

Today, I was at a music festival when a group of idiots decided to push over a port-a-loo (portable toilet). I rushed over and tried to hold it up to save the person inside from a very messy and embarrasing scene. Not only did the door open, covering me in excrement, but there was no-one inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 162

You deserved it 9 444

We could be heroes

By OhPleaseNo - 07/04/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 710

You deserved it 203

By Erik Aleckson - 05/05/2019 02:00

Today, at my hotel job, I had to help a drunk naked guy back into his room. Earlier today, a fat old guy wearing only briefs came down to the lobby drunk as hell. I used to like my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 870

You deserved it 136

By not a shitty situation so fuck you - 24/06/2016 22:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 850

You deserved it 773

Get off my hood

By Anonymous - 03/01/2016 23:00 - United States - Kennett Square

Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 465

You deserved it 1 271

By Anonymous - 22/10/2010 18:32 - Norway

Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 444

You deserved it 3 356

By notpayedenoughforthisshit - 21/07/2014 21:15 - United States - Boone

Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 717

You deserved it 3 434

By mallcop - 14/02/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, while I was working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 805

You deserved it 2 636

By lifesucks0925 - 06/09/2013 07:01 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 785

You deserved it 2 816

By hnickell93 - 09/10/2012 01:55 - United States - Visalia

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 743

You deserved it 5 406

kristir9426 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 19:05

that is awful! people are crazy.

Tikwichka 5

Thursday 14 October 2010 23:47

55, it is the British spelling. Surely 'God Save The Queen' gave you a hint OP is not American? You must know by now that British and American English have different spelling for many words, no?

Comments

demoon_fml 7

Friday 15 October 2010 4:59

I love how no one here gets along, everyone acts like we have to be enemys here. I mean, damn what is the pointing in fighting a country vs. country war on a Internet site, seeing as our soldiers happen to get along just fine, our governments get along and work together. and still we fight over a few petty differences? shame on the lot of you bloody bastards, oh and I don't give a flying **** about my grammar right now, i'm trying to make a point. p.s. I'm American and British, and at this point, I'm not rooting for either side of this absurd arguement.

albinoV 1

Friday 15 October 2010 5:00

Where did the "mall cop" idea come from? Photo booths exists elsewhere, and I didn't even know Britain had "mall cops."

WeTheLiving 4

Friday 15 October 2010 5:06

Adding "It's then that I remembered that it's my job to do something about it" made this Fml epic!!! lol

biskitbukit 7

Friday 15 October 2010 5:38

Crazy cops.

roketkween 0

Friday 15 October 2010 7:09

god save the queen, she ain't no human been. noooo future nooooo future for me

roketkween 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 8:45

one of my favorites c: sid is a hotttttieeeee.

License2Sell 0

Friday 15 October 2010 8:26

hopefully he is a cool/good cop and then yes I agree FYL. If not, karma for the win.

towboatdude 0

Friday 15 October 2010 12:40

I see all the bad comments about being a cop on here. Why is it that everyone wants to bash trash and bad mouth the police. But when you need them and the show up with in just a few minutes after you call them. they didn't get there quick enough. And then when they haul the person off to jail or fix the problem you wanna praise them and can't thank them enough? I was a cop for 10 years ten left to make a lot more money.

yoshinurbox 0

Friday 15 October 2010 15:46

**** you douche. cops are never on time. always waste a shit load of your time to piss you off. never actually get anything done write. break almost every rule but you faggots use your "good faith clause" to get your fat asses out of trouble cause u guys don't know how to do your job. catching people speeding n not stopping at a stop sign because your to worthless to get actual drug dealers thieves killers rapists. **** all the cops. I was gonna be a cop once. then I decided to finish high school..