Sex, Sunburn and Intimacy: Braggadocio

Braggadocio

By snowwhite - 28/10/2013 04:51 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of, "how hard he gave it to me last night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 646

You deserved it 10 127

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Same thing different taste

Life's a beach

By Brittanyy_leigh - 17/12/2009 07:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 155

You deserved it 6 016

By Beccarr - 01/07/2009 17:04 - United Kingdom

Today, it was boiling hot so my boyfriend and I decided to sunbathe in the garden and ended up falling asleep for a few hours. Not only is my back so burnt that I can't lie down, I also have a white hand print on my upper back where my boyfriend had left his arm while we slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 665

You deserved it 45 659

By anonymous - 24/09/2011 15:22 - United States

Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 396

You deserved it 4 719

By ilovedirt - 10/07/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 320

You deserved it 3 768

Cooked

By Anonymous - 29/03/2023 06:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a camping trip with my friends, but forgot to bring sunscreen. I spent the entire day outside and ended up with a severe sunburn all over my body. The pain is unbearable and I can't even move without yelping as if I was slowly being cooked in an air fryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 920

You what now?

By ashley anne - 16/10/2022 04:00

Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 150

He's fine

By kenz - 17/12/2020 20:01

Today, I wanted my boyfriend to come over for a backyard wiener roast. Because it was so hot outside, he told me he didn't want to. Eventually, I talked him into it telling him it would be fine. He's now still asleep on the couch with heat stroke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 1 225

By Grrrreat - 04/02/2015 15:16 - United Kingdom - Hatfield

Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 064

You deserved it 4 922

By Burned - 05/06/2011 00:54 - United States

Today, I went to the beach with my friends to show off my engagement ring. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up extremely sunburnt to a text from my boyfriend confessing that he's been cheating on me. I gave him the ring back. Now I have its tan line on my finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 108

You deserved it 7 102

Roommates from hell, part 4874

By Ohgodithurts - 19/10/2020 11:00

Today, I got a second degree sunburn everywhere above my waist, for which I've been using a medicated lotion. My roommate "pranked" me by switching the lotion with a similarly colored, very caustic acne wash. My chest feels like it's roasting in hell and is oozing pus and oil now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 640

You deserved it 163

Wizardo 33

Monday 28 October 2013 12:04

He's just trying to make light of the situation, no need to be so burned up about it OP. P.S. Get some aloe and put it in a ice cube tray and stick it in the freezer. Once done take out and rub over body - instant relief.

juststephhere 23

Monday 28 October 2013 12:03

So hard you became completely red! Haha sounds fun!

Comments

JMichael 25

Monday 28 October 2013 12:17

Apply ice to said burn.

Robbieisadowg 16

Monday 28 October 2013 12:21

That ice said what?!?!

UrYousername 15

Monday 28 October 2013 12:47

I see what you did there.

Sandman366 6

Tuesday 29 October 2013 17:53

The ice said burn. It then wrote a song, of ice, and fire.

timss4 19

Monday 28 October 2013 12:19

I totally "sunburn" my girl all the time too lol she doesn't even need to "go tanning" with me around

countrygirl109 11

Monday 28 October 2013 12:20

You should be like, "No, he's too small for that." ;p

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Monday 28 October 2013 19:35

The only way it would be mean is if it were true. She'd only be joking, right? So how is it mean since he's saying something just as stupid?

MakeTodayADTR 20

Monday 28 October 2013 12:20

When I see your name all I can think of is Prince Charming telling the Seven Dwarfs how hard he gave it to you ;P

Dracoboxer357 35

Monday 28 October 2013 14:12

Funny, I always pictured it the other way around. After all, she wasn't living with him, off and secluded in the woods. ;P

ThattDude 8

Monday 28 October 2013 12:22

That's what I say when my girlfriend gets burned haha. Its just making a painful situation funny. Everyone can tell its not true when they see how red you are