Sex, Sunburn and Intimacy: Braggadocio

Braggadocio

By snowwhite - 28/10/2013 04:51 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of, "how hard he gave it to me last night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 653

You deserved it 10 131

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Life's a beach

By Brittanyy_leigh - 17/12/2009 07:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 160

You deserved it 6 019

By Beccarr - 01/07/2009 17:04 - United Kingdom

Today, it was boiling hot so my boyfriend and I decided to sunbathe in the garden and ended up falling asleep for a few hours. Not only is my back so burnt that I can't lie down, I also have a white hand print on my upper back where my boyfriend had left his arm while we slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 665

You deserved it 45 666

By anonymous - 24/09/2011 15:22 - United States

Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 398

You deserved it 4 719

By ilovedirt - 10/07/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 320

You deserved it 3 772

Cooked

By Anonymous - 29/03/2023 06:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a camping trip with my friends, but forgot to bring sunscreen. I spent the entire day outside and ended up with a severe sunburn all over my body. The pain is unbearable and I can't even move without yelping as if I was slowly being cooked in an air fryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 924

You what now?

By ashley anne - 16/10/2022 04:00

Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 150

He's fine

By kenz - 17/12/2020 20:01

Today, I wanted my boyfriend to come over for a backyard wiener roast. Because it was so hot outside, he told me he didn't want to. Eventually, I talked him into it telling him it would be fine. He's now still asleep on the couch with heat stroke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 1 232

By Grrrreat - 04/02/2015 15:16 - United Kingdom - Hatfield

Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 068

You deserved it 4 922

By Burned - 05/06/2011 00:54 - United States

Today, I went to the beach with my friends to show off my engagement ring. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up extremely sunburnt to a text from my boyfriend confessing that he's been cheating on me. I gave him the ring back. Now I have its tan line on my finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 109

You deserved it 7 103

Roommates from hell, part 4874

By Ohgodithurts - 19/10/2020 11:00

Today, I got a second degree sunburn everywhere above my waist, for which I've been using a medicated lotion. My roommate "pranked" me by switching the lotion with a similarly colored, very caustic acne wash. My chest feels like it's roasting in hell and is oozing pus and oil now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 643

You deserved it 165

Wizardo 33

Monday 28 October 2013 12:04

He's just trying to make light of the situation, no need to be so burned up about it OP. P.S. Get some aloe and put it in a ice cube tray and stick it in the freezer. Once done take out and rub over body - instant relief.

juststephhere 23

Monday 28 October 2013 12:03

So hard you became completely red! Haha sounds fun!

Comments

NikkiBooVanity 5

Monday 28 October 2013 22:36

Nice repost, why don't you come up with something ORIGINAL

MrHappyMan 3

Monday 28 October 2013 23:23

oh come on, that's so funny

GRubi 17

Tuesday 29 October 2013 1:32

Wasn't this a plot point of a Sex and the City episode?

djPanda 8

Tuesday 29 October 2013 2:30

For payback make him have sex with you so hard and for at least three house with no breaks when you get better so he can't walk and then tell YOUR friends the truth best plan ever!!!!

Croooow 11

Tuesday 29 October 2013 4:30

Put milk on it. No joke. Get some whole milk, soak a paper towel in it, wring it out, and lay it on the burn. It'll get warm after a few seconds. Remove it, soak it again, wring it again, and place it back on the burn. If you do this a few times, your burn will feel much better, and it even heals quicker. Trust me, I know it sounds pretty weird, but it works like none other. Not even aloe produces results like milk.