Birthday, Gifts and Miscellaneous: Brown and sticky

Brown and sticky

By Jon - 14/03/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 165

You deserved it 6 339

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Same thing different taste

Life is a roller coaster

By Username - 02/10/2019 14:00

Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 884

You deserved it 177

Almost done

By Anonymous - 09/04/2013 04:59 - Canada

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick." One more year… FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 600

You deserved it 3 447

By chrono19 - 04/05/2014 10:11 - United States - Bremerton

Today, I got a birthday package from my parents. It was all the stuff I'd forgotten there when visiting a month ago, along with some other things I'd left behind when I moved out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 479

You deserved it 5 697

By stinkerweeder - 05/02/2011 20:30 - United States

Today, it was both my and my stepmother's birthday. In preparation, my dad bought a huge banner with my stepmother's name on it, and a lovely birthday cake. When I told him it was also my birthday, he just grunted and taped a post-it note to the banner with my name on it. Same with the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 830

You deserved it 3 038

By NosChersVoisins - 01/07/2014 04:55 - France - Bordeaux

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 187

You deserved it 5 936

Happy Birthday

By Anonymous - 07/10/2010 00:48 - United States

Today, my parents gave me my birthday present. Two weeks ago, I'd ordered an Xbox online. Three days ago, it came to my house, and my parents thought they could save money by putting wrapping paper on it, and giving it to me for my birthday. That's all they got me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 324

You deserved it 3 511

By Mazzam - 19/11/2008 11:33 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 279

You deserved it 18 565

By reallyman__639 - 13/12/2011 12:26 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 560

You deserved it 17 505

By Birthday Surprise - 26/05/2014 21:18 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 644

You deserved it 4 993

By Florida_1827 - 28/01/2011 10:54 - United States

Today, I received the 'special' present my mother had sent me for my 21st birthday. I opened the box and saw that my mother had picked out, accessorized and shipped to me, in college, a doll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 867

You deserved it 4 527

Inkspell 2

Saturday 14 March 2009 16:15

Wow, wtf, i rather get nothing. lmao, what the hell, seriously though, just grabbing a stick and giving it to someone is worse than saying "sorry, don't have a present.."

HelloFlower 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 16:23

You can do SO MANY things with a stick. The possibilities are endless.

Comments

Wazilla 0

Monday 13 December 2010 5:51

I love how all these people are comparing to third world countries, im guessing you guys get sticks for birthday presents too. Just becuase its third world doesnt mean every one is starving and in poverty. I'm pretty sure they have stick over there too.

Herropreez17 0

Wednesday 15 June 2011 1:47

Now when you say f*cking stick.... O.o

slinkydee 2

Saturday 18 June 2011 13:23

did you throw it and tell her to fetch?

Belllatrix 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 5:00

suckish parents :(

yaknowiverse 0

Wednesday 21 September 2011 3:14

yay!

Epikouros 31

Monday 10 October 2011 20:13

Unless it's very polished, please put an extra thick condom on your ******* stick! You don't want splinters in your rectum.

lvl19virgin 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 19:35

Ungrateful shit I love stickball

dhbeaver 9

Friday 8 June 2012 4:43

Use that stick wisely. Shove it up their asses!!!

NerdyEmoChick 3

Monday 10 June 2013 23:20

Well, its just a birthday present. Not that bad. At least once for me, on my 7th birthday my mom had agreed to meet my grandparents and my dad at our house. She got drunk and started freaking out and decided to leave town. We didn't, but we just went to the store and she bought more liqour.