Doctor and Health: Bunged up

Bunged up

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 03:57 - United States

Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 705

You deserved it 5 790

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

I've known for ages

By Crap - 28/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 080

You deserved it 7 183

Leave me alone

By emoflowers - 10/04/2012 02:51 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 529

You deserved it 3 342

Full of it

By romoangel - 21/04/2020 05:00

Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 563

By Sam - 09/01/2018 19:00

Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 816

You deserved it 255

By firegirl - 05/07/2018 15:00

Today, I finally got over a long bout of constipation. I was scared to ask my mom for laxatives because I had the feeling she would tell all her friends, but on the 6th day of absolutely no bowel movements, I caved. I later overheard my mom telling all her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 914

You deserved it 373

Ever Given

By Anonymous - 31/03/2021 20:00 - United States - Elverson

Today, I had to poop, but as I sat down, it wouldn't come out. After about 10 minutes I realized I needed help. The only help I could get was my mother, who couldn't stop laughing at the sweat and faces I made. I still hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 309

By aswamk - 19/12/2015 05:01 - Pakistan - Karachi

Today, my constant constipation has become a running joke in my family; I heard my mom tell my dad that if he wants to keep his Christmas presents safe, he should ask me to eat them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 991

You deserved it 1 713

By blehh - 14/04/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 293

You deserved it 54 669

By fulloshit - 28/11/2010 02:17 - United States

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 069

You deserved it 4 597

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 765

You deserved it 40 918

Pwn17 25

Friday 28 June 2013 12:03

Who gives a shit about what she thinks?

DocBastard 38

Friday 28 June 2013 12:29

Well that was rather unprofessional of him. What kind of doctor talks rudely to his patients like that? *whistles innocently*

Comments

thatnucca 36

Friday 28 June 2013 12:54

Being constipated that long definitely would leave me sense of humor constipated too...

Wizardo 33

Friday 28 June 2013 13:05

I hear you're full of shit... keep talking or eat some Taco Bell, that'll clear you right out.

phooboy 10

Friday 28 June 2013 13:13

Two words: fiber and water.

emilyjgraham 34

Friday 28 June 2013 13:59

That's three ;) heh

shadowfighter10 9

Friday 28 June 2013 13:14

Well, did it help?

venus89 17

Friday 28 June 2013 13:33

Pour some in her coffee, then she will see who is laughing ;)

KiddoKS 19

Friday 28 June 2013 13:42

This is just the type of story moms will never forget either. I can see op's mom sitting down with future dates breaking out the embarrassing baby pics and reminiscing about the time the doc told you that you were full of shit... Memories :)

perdix 29

Friday 28 June 2013 13:43

With friends like that, who needs enemas? You do!!

tegraturbo2000 15

Friday 28 June 2013 14:11

i bet ur mom thought u were full of shit b4 doctors now she knows ur full of shit lmao

mgrace88 8

Friday 28 June 2013 14:36

I hope you feel better soon. And rule of thumb, try not to go more than 3 days without a bowel movement. There are plenty over the counter stuff to encourage a regular bowel movement and it'll much less painful and less costly.