Wanker and Intimacy: Burglary [gone sexual] - FML

Burglary [gone sexual]

By Anonymous - 01/12/2010 05:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 257

You deserved it 11 847

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/10/2009 10:56 - Australia

Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 225

You deserved it 6 134

By Starving Ultimatum - 02/09/2011 01:55 - United States

Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 943

You deserved it 3 127

By mike oxsmall - 16/06/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 051

You deserved it 6 556

By Mike - 25/04/2011 21:39

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 743

You deserved it 6 397

By iliketoastalot - 09/08/2011 17:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 645

You deserved it 5 909

By Anonymous - 19/10/2018 14:00

Today, I was in the middle of a wank when my home's back door, which is always locked, suddenly opened and someone walked in. I’m not sure who was more surprised: me or the new maintenance guy who saw me wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 334

You deserved it 641

By Anonymous - 28/04/2013 19:53 - Saudi Arabia

Spicy

Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 263

You deserved it 75 721

By Anonymous - 11/05/2012 00:28 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I was heading back to my apartment and I heard noises behind the front door. Assuming it was the surprise party I'd hinted at, I flicked on the lights… as two heavy guys pushed past me. I was robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 558

You deserved it 2 324

Great timing

By alo1434 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 006

You deserved it 3 371

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 16:29 - United States - Woodland

Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 652

You deserved it 2 160

Next

Top comments

firemanrob 0

Wednesday 1 December 2010 12:04

haha you should of used your penis as a gun cocked it and shot **** in there face

x_Cupcakes 0

Wednesday 1 December 2010 12:03

Haha! Did they join you?

Comments

THATUGLYKID 0

Friday 3 December 2010 8:46

did you continue or what?

ThreeSheetsGone 12

Friday 3 December 2010 16:37

So who fired the first shot?

alexooo_fml 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 5:29

win #33

Mike_dude123 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 5:29

Pants on the ground

metaldeth 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 15:07

I'ma let you finish op... fap fap fap

freewillyornot 0

Sunday 5 December 2010 8:22

dude the breaking and entering was probably a way to break the ice. they saw you wanking off and wanted to join. don't sweat it lol....

twone11 0

Monday 6 December 2010 0:45

oh shot!!!!! lmao!!

sumnerr 0

Monday 6 December 2010 23:03

lol

RawrJoannaful 2

Tuesday 7 December 2010 0:57

today, I read the most bullshit story that has ever been posted on fml. why can't people realise that no one would go on fml after being held at gunpoint? FML.

GermanJerkman 2

Tuesday 7 December 2010 20:28

Look them in the eyes and finish off vigorously!

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Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 2 666

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I agree, your life sucks 1 821

You deserved it 151

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I agree, your life sucks 13 345

You deserved it 4 230