Wanker and Intimacy: Burglary [gone sexual]

Burglary [gone sexual]

By Anonymous - 01/12/2010 05:11 - United States

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 257

You deserved it 11 847

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/10/2009 10:56 - Australia

Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 225

You deserved it 6 134

By Starving Ultimatum - 02/09/2011 01:55 - United States

Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 943

You deserved it 3 127

By mike oxsmall - 16/06/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 051

You deserved it 6 556

By Mike - 25/04/2011 21:39

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 743

You deserved it 6 397

By iliketoastalot - 09/08/2011 17:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 645

You deserved it 5 909

By Anonymous - 19/10/2018 14:00

Today, I was in the middle of a wank when my home's back door, which is always locked, suddenly opened and someone walked in. I’m not sure who was more surprised: me or the new maintenance guy who saw me wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 334

You deserved it 641

By Anonymous - 28/04/2013 19:53 - Saudi Arabia

Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 263

You deserved it 75 721

By Anonymous - 11/05/2012 00:28 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I was heading back to my apartment and I heard noises behind the front door. Assuming it was the surprise party I'd hinted at, I flicked on the lights… as two heavy guys pushed past me. I was robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 558

You deserved it 2 324

Great timing

By alo1434 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 006

You deserved it 3 371

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 16:29 - United States - Woodland

Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 652

You deserved it 2 160

firemanrob 0

Wednesday 1 December 2010 12:04

haha you should of used your penis as a gun cocked it and shot **** in there face

x_Cupcakes 0

Wednesday 1 December 2010 12:03

Haha! Did they join you?

Comments

ersa1802 0

Wednesday 1 December 2010 21:18

...awkward...

DudeItsMelvin 0

Wednesday 1 December 2010 21:28

Hahah, they're gonna rob a sperm bank.

xITZxTuRtLeX 0

Wednesday 1 December 2010 21:49

that why u get the chuck Norris handy dandy alarm,it detects intruders and whenever it does it drops a photo of chuck Norris flexing and they die instantly from the awesomeness of chuck Norris flexing his machine guns.

blahzz 4

Wednesday 1 December 2010 21:57

Fap fap fap. Splooge. hahaha. Funny.

KingVJ 0

Wednesday 1 December 2010 23:53

Damn that sucks dude!!! XD

WhiiT3TiGeR 0

Thursday 2 December 2010 0:54

Choked on what? Oh I see, you were there wernt you you dirty little choker!

varkey 7

Thursday 2 December 2010 0:59

LMAO! So awkward for everyone there! Did they just look disgusted and leave or did they follow through? Did you _____ while they were in the room? I mean, I would normally click YDI for wanking but it does suck to be robbed at gunpoint.