Poopoo peepee, Awkward, Conspiracy theorist and Work: C'mon man!

C'mon man!

By Pooping - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Aldergrove

Today, while I was at work, a coworker began ranting about his theory that the government is going to create a disease that sterilises everyone, and use the antidote to control the population. I was just trying to take a crap in the stall next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 277

You deserved it 2 001

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Shut up!

By Anonymous - 03/03/2013 18:03 - Germany - Augsburg

Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 980

You deserved it 11 230

By CapNCook - 24/07/2013 09:15 - United States - Chicago

Today, a co-worker verbally abused me because I yawned. His excuse was that, "It's contagious". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 136

You deserved it 4 395

By Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:52 - United States

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 062

You deserved it 3 580

When nature calls

By Sacha - 19/01/2021 08:01 - Canada

Today, while I was working in a grocery store, a costumer decide to take a dump on the ground after I told him he couldn’t access to restrooms because my boss closed them due to COVID restrictions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 182

By fmltom - 16/12/2015 02:21 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 758

You deserved it 1 685

Both sides now

By microtech - 13/12/2011 17:33 - United States

Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 681

You deserved it 3 346

Office world is hell

By Anonymous - 11/07/2020 14:01

Today, at work I was sitting on the toilet and a coworker came in and yelled, “That sounded like a big one!” and wouldn't leave until I left came out of the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 475

You deserved it 140

Symphonic

By Anonymous - 30/01/2014 22:46 - United Kingdom - Preston

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 826

You deserved it 4 914

By Snails - 12/06/2019 20:00

Today, while at work, I let out a nasty wet fart, thinking no one would hear me since I work in a warehouse. My coworker did hear me, and replied, "WTF? Shots fired! Shots fired!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 734

The new generation

By Anonymous - 06/06/2022 22:00

Today, I got stuck in a bathroom at work with my least favorite coworker. He ranted about Lady Gaga the entire 15 minutes the lock was broken. I’m third generation don’t give a fuck! FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 173

vladmire 4

Thursday 30 August 2012 0:25

Gotta love that stall conversation :)

SkoomaKi 27

Thursday 30 August 2012 0:28

A interesting thing to discuss while doing the daily push. He could be onto something.

Comments

FaraPjJammaz 13

Thursday 30 August 2012 0:29

Well, wasn't that just your day

305Miami 0

Thursday 30 August 2012 0:30

Atleast you werent bored while on the crapper

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Thursday 30 August 2012 0:31

People who talk in bathrooms are so awkward...

TheMathMajor 26

Thursday 30 August 2012 0:44

It's kind of like when your gynecologist tries to talk to you when she's down there making sure your lady parts are healthy and what not. I guess that's slightly more awkward.

klx125cross 9

Thursday 30 August 2012 1:41

IKR?

mikeymayhem_87 15

Thursday 30 August 2012 15:36

Not sure if the ladies have the golden rule in bathrooms like us guys do, but I hate it when some guy stands at the urinal right next to me, breaking the "every other urinal" personal space rule.

TheMathMajor 26

Thursday 30 August 2012 15:45

If I was a guy I would pee in the stall.

klovely22 13

Thursday 30 August 2012 21:19

110- We don't really need rules. It's common sense.

Chill_Turtle95 3

Thursday 30 August 2012 0:32

LOL you learn something new everyday

THE_A_TEEN 27

Thursday 30 August 2012 0:57

Yeah, we learned that he's a tin foil hat-wearing conspiracy theorist.

Chill_Turtle95 3

Thursday 30 August 2012 4:24

Isn't that still learning? OP got to know how the mind of a co-worker functions.

TheDrifter 23

Thursday 30 August 2012 0:32

Oryx and Crake must be a favorite of his. But the jokes on him, we all know the corporations won't turn over the REAL antidote without conditions. Now to make a new foil hat before they track me down again.