Animals, Sex, Camping and Intimacy: Camping out

Camping out

By Baggabbles123 - 08/06/2009 23:24 - Canada

Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent, causing the girl to scream and run away. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 406

You deserved it 9 335

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Tori Pearson - 27/06/2011 04:21 - Canada

Today, I went camping. My tent is flooded, a raccoon ate all my food, I lost the anchor to my boat which as a result is now across the lake. Three more days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 748

You deserved it 6 892

Outdoorsy

By Anonymous - 22/03/2012 03:21 - United States - London

Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cockblocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 821

You deserved it 7 234

By and god shat - 11/07/2014 23:38 - United States - Klamath Falls

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 289

You deserved it 9 085

Darwin smiled

By Ihateracoons - 06/09/2022 06:30

Today, I saw a raccoon family on my front porch. There were 3 little babies. Wanting to keep one as a pet, I scooped up one of the babies. The mother raccoon turned around, made a bizarre roaring, hissing sound, and attacked me. I’m currently in the ER covered in grass and scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 5 292

By "baow" - 17/03/2019 16:00 - Sweden

Today, I met this girl and we ended up having sex at her place. She decided to give me some head underneath the cover, it really was great until her Garfield sized cat decided to jump on her head and make her choke on it. Guess who got kicked out in the middle of the night for being too reckless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 158

You deserved it 339

Surprise, MFer!

By Anonymous - 04/09/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to use a public restroom. I walked into the first stall and found it occupied… by a raccoon. It hissed at me, and in my panic, I backed into a janitor's cart, knocking over the mop and bucket. I had to leave the bathroom drenched in dirty water while a crowd of people watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 98

Nice place

By Anonymous - 07/03/2021 15:01 - Australia - Clayton

Today, I experienced the perfect romantic moment as I was sitting on a hill on the beach overlooking the sunset, cuddling my girlfriend. It was abruptly ruined. How? A rat ran past. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 205

By Anonymous - 18/09/2010 06:31 - United States

Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 453

You deserved it 2 928

By anonymous - 13/09/2012 06:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found an enormous raccoon in my backyard. After a couple of nasty scratches, I finally managed to capture the filthy animal. After calling animal control to relocate it, I waited for hours to learn that "relocating" actually means releasing it into my front yard 10 feet away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 787

You deserved it 4 662

By Noname - 14/03/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146 885

You deserved it 11 788

Trebek 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 9:27

A raccoon interrupted you getting beaver, eh?

CryingHowls 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 9:26

GO RACCOON!

Comments

f_u_u_f_f 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 15:35

@#46, #61--the guy who tried that while drunk got his unit bit off. see link in the "www"

KoreanGuy 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 19:41

aww man tht suks u got cockblocked by a friggen wild animal

Abs_Seraph 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 11:48

Haha this is ******* classic!

Juvyniled 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 17:50

Excellent use of the word cockblocked.

ugh227 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 19:23

Random question but were you in Indiana when this happened? Almost the exact thing happened to me this weekend.

littlefrog_fml 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 21:41

haha she never came back? that sucks

novella0013 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 21:57

lol, ydi for ******* someone you just met but thats hilarious XD

_Kaylakurbstomp_ 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 23:27

Okay, so I love how this website is just supposed to be about all these things that happen to people that suck and yet every funny sex one I see has so many people going 'OMG YOU HAD SEX? YOU *****'. Guess what? People have sex. I know its shocking isn't it? It's so inappropriate that anyone would do something that creates life ever. Get over it. These stories are for your reading entertainment, even though a lot of them make you feel bad for the poster. So, read the actual thing instead of stopping when you see the word 'sex' and spouting off on what an AIDs ridden ***** the OP is. I'm pretty sure if they are posting what happened to them on this site, it was bad enough without you riding them because they don't wear and iron chastity belt.