Customers, Public freakouts, Cops and Work: Catering to idiots

Catering to idiots

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 00:10 - United States - Pittsfield

Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 533

You deserved it 3 751

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Long time coming

By I'm the boss, not you - 26/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 2 407

You got lawyered

By fckmylife - 20/12/2016 19:47

Today, I found out that I'm being sued for posting on Facebook about a customer service experience with a local company. Even though we have witnesses, the owners of the store claim that we're lying about the whole thing and that we're "malicious". FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 203

You deserved it 716

By fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo - 28/07/2013 16:23 - United States

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 665

You deserved it 3 572

Get off my lawn!

By control your mutt! - 23/02/2022 22:00

Today, tired of people letting their dogs crap in my yard, I sprinkled an assortment of crushed peppers around my lawn as a deterrent. One dog went to do its business and had some sort of allergic reaction. Now its bitchy owner is threatening to sue me, and tried to have her daughter kick my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 409

By Alice - 27/05/2011 05:46 - Australia

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 469

You deserved it 3 192

Punk rock

By Shitfaced - 22/11/2022 12:00

Today, some punk tried the "flaming bag of dog poop" trick on me. I caught him in the act and smashed the unlit bag across his face. Now he's "traumatized" and wants to press charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 655

You deserved it 205

By KereKris - 01/12/2016 19:18

Today, I wrote a bad review for a pizza place after their pizza gave me food poisoning. Now, they won't stop calling me, begging me to take my review down in exchange for free pizza. I have tried to tell them that I wouldn't eat their pizza again even if I got paid to do so, but they won't listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 591

You deserved it 1 394

By DocKreso - 28/06/2013 21:59 - Croatia - Split

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 891

You deserved it 6 393

People gonna be people

By Anonymous - 13/01/2022 10:59

Today, I had to fix signs to a pond in the public park, stating that the water is not fit for drinking. Yes, this is after someone drank the water, became very sick, and successfully sued us for not having a sign up telling him the pond of mucky brown water with fish in isn’t fresh drinking water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 340

You deserved it 98

By Anonymous - 05/06/2015 01:07 - United States - Elkhart

Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 833

You deserved it 2 134

KingDead 18

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:06

Common sense; not so common

that1guyyy 12

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:06

You should really clean up your act.

Comments

xeka 10

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:16

Police + Problem Solving = Problem Not Solved + More Problems.

iLike2Teabag 27

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:38

I see your profile says you produce music for Machinima. Do you happen to produce music for N.W.A. as well? 2 posts about how much you hate the police?

NickaPLZ 26

Wednesday 27 March 2013 16:47

Well said, 11. Wellllllll said.

Barhinder 9

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:22

After first bite: "That tastes odd." After 21 bites: "Ok that definitely tastes wired!" After becoming ill: "That ass tried to poison me!"

Ajwc101 24

Wednesday 27 March 2013 11:42

Sorry I meant to thumb you up.

caligirl1028 7

Wednesday 27 March 2013 15:52

Lol

ibmike22 13

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:22

That's soap ridiculous. ....

Chronophage 7

Wednesday 27 March 2013 11:46

You're not (lye)ing.

yup93 7

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:22

With a world like the one we live in now, I probably would have recommended that too.

YouKnowIMeantMe_ 21

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:23

Now you know where those stupid instructrions, in some products, come from. This is one on the making. Instead of fighting stupidity, we're adapting ourselves to it. Way to go, people!