Caught in 4K
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How big is his wiener
You win. Shut it down guys, we have a winner. The universe can't top this one.
I'm sorry, OP, that really sucks about him cheating. But hey, you got to be the one to arrest him for it which if you look at it a certain way, is pretty awesome. You're an upstanding Officer, and he's nothing but a slimy cheating little bastard. He'll get what's coming to him in jail. :)
But he will have to sit in a cell while being booked, and that makes it fun.
Here if you get busted for a misdemeanor, even, and have NOT been convicted yet, you do have to sit in a cell with hardened offenders. It happened to me, a year or so ago. I'm not gonna say what the offense was, but it was a very minor, misdemeanor conviction, and they had me sit in a tiny room with convicted felons for about 24 hours, barely any food, no blankets, and I slept on a concrete floor. Got released and no real penalty after I finally got to see a judge. But it depends on where you live. Some places are REALLY tough on you. Jail sucks...even if you're only there for like a day, and plus, having to sit there with nothing to do knowing his GF is the one who arrested him...I do believe that would be punishment enough in itself.
Kinky
Don't you mean "ex-boyfriend"
I can now think of one situation where police brutality is called for...
Please tell me you didn't go back to that loser!
shit you hear so much about police brutality these days I'm glad you didn't beat or mutilate him ?
Keywords
Not only did you dodge a bullet but you got to arrest the cheating bastard yourself :)
Tell him you hope he drops the soap