Miscellaneous: Today, I just pulled out of the fast food drive through, only...

By Goatbeard - 15/02/2011 17:13 - United States

Today, I just pulled out of the fast food drive through, only to pull right behind a septic truck. Just as I was about to dig into my food, I noticed it had a handy window about a foot round. I had a stare-down with a turd until I could pass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 158

You deserved it 4 010

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Nature is healing

By kat, ACT - 20/12/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 485

You deserved it 11 675

By whitedevil - 09/10/2009 07:09 - United States

Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 172

You deserved it 49 927

What he is thinking?

By fishyrael - 12/11/2019 01:00

Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 849

You deserved it 298

By Tired Hungry Geek - 27/10/2015 04:40 - United States

Today, I was exhausted after a long day at work and didn't feel like cooking so I went to a drive thru. I placed my order, went to the window and paid. I then drove off without my food and didn't realize it for a couple of blocks. I was too embarrassed to go back and get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 681

You deserved it 10 328

By caught out - 26/04/2014 23:29 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 719

You deserved it 7 422

Spooky season has begun

By Anonymous - 04/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was at work at a kiosk in the mall when I smelled something foul. I thought it was the weird dude who'd just walked by so I just carried on with my work. Minutes later, I looked to my right and there, lying on the floor a few feet from me, was a huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 622

You deserved it 161

The smell of freedom

By ThatNewCarSmell - 01/10/2014 16:53 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 880

You deserved it 45 701

Confused

By StUbbY - 09/07/2009 14:01 - Canada

Today, I was waiting in line for breakfast at the McDonald's drive-thru. After getting so fed up that the line hadn't budged for 10 mins, I pulled out of the line, only to realize I was waiting behind 2 parked cars that were just to the left of the drive-thru lane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 816

You deserved it 59 282

Sorry, little dude

By dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 099

You deserved it 3 657

Smells like…

By Anonymous - 03/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I was driving past men working on the side of the road. There was a lot of water pouring down the road and as I slowed down to drive through it, a car sped past me, splashing my entire car. It was only then I realized it was a septic tank leak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 724

You deserved it 2 609

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 15 February 2011 22:16

I hope your fast food didn't include a brownie. With nuts.

DogmaT_fml 4

Tuesday 15 February 2011 22:39

eat it while staring. I SAID, EAT IT WHILE STARING.

Comments

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 15 February 2011 22:16

I hope your fast food didn't include a brownie. With nuts.

romano07 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 22:22

or oatmeal o_O

CryMoreFMLs 14

Tuesday 15 February 2011 23:11

Did the wordin of this FMl make anybody else laugh? I couldn't help but lmao.

deafeningsilence 8

Wednesday 16 February 2011 0:19

15- It sounded kind of awkward, IMO.

mariluvs 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 1:42

im confused"-

CryMoreFMLs 14

Wednesday 16 February 2011 2:30

The person stared at a turd till the light turned green.

mariluvs 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 3:55

laxgirl17 5

Wednesday 16 February 2011 4:51

This is actually all part of an American weight loss program. It's a proven fact that you are less likely to eat fast food if you stare at a turd.

m2j 1

Wednesday 16 February 2011 16:01

I thought the OP was calling someone a turd and didn't realize it was an actual turd. haha I was so confused.

doctor_itsmylife 3

Friday 18 February 2011 22:08

"handy window about a foot round. " epic word choose fail

xxBFMVAAMIWxx 18

Tuesday 19 November 2013 11:27

Well this sounds like he has had a shitty time

EatnBeef 7

Tuesday 15 February 2011 22:25

it wanted some food.

romano07 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 22:25

I bet you blinked.

reverb_neon 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 22:31

new marketing campaign for Mc Donalds. instead of the hamburglar it's the turd burglar.

lemoncows 2

Wednesday 16 February 2011 0:05

their stuff tastes like crap anyway ...

9010649 3

Wednesday 16 February 2011 0:44

haaaa

YtotsDI 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 3:16

it also looks like sumone sat on it loathe box is always smished lol

retrospect 5

Wednesday 16 February 2011 10:22

Mc shitz

allyandcolour03 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 22:34

Shit that sucks. I bet u cud smell it too huh? Good luck eating now

5t3ff1k4h 44

Tuesday 15 February 2011 22:38

could*. I'm not bothering to correct anything else. FYI - "cud" is what cows chew.

Asario 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 6:08

and "cum" is what you chew ^^

Susieee_Q 9

Wednesday 16 February 2011 7:31

^^ She had it "coming."

shylodragon 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 16:56

wow, totally taken from Cop Out!

DogmaT_fml 4

Tuesday 15 February 2011 22:39

eat it while staring. I SAID, EAT IT WHILE STARING.

nerdsgetmehot 22

Tuesday 15 February 2011 22:58

Just imagine how bad the driver of the septic tank has it. They're the one that has to haul around all that poop!

perdix 29

Tuesday 15 February 2011 23:03

You should have jumped out of your car and beaten the shit out of it!

Shmeagle 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 23:24

Who won?

NattyBear 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 23:31

lol

allmidnighteyes 10

Tuesday 15 February 2011 23:27

Fast food doesn't necessarily mean it's McDonald's. In California, it could very well be In N Out. But then again, In N Out isn't exactly fast food...