Miscellaneous: Check this out!

Check this out!

By Uncircumcised Penis - 24/07/2012 09:51 - Canada - Richmond

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 619

You deserved it 2 465

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/10/2015 06:45 - Canada - Oakville

Today, while waiting in line to get my medication, a man who just got his prescription looked me up and down and said "Penis pills, right? Ya look like the type." Then he walked out as a couple of other guys in line started snickering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 757

You deserved it 1 816

By Anonymous - 02/03/2016 05:06 - United States - Miami

Today, at work, man who was buying medicine for his son came up to me for help. He didn't know how to explain it to me, so instead he showed me a picture of a rash on his kid's butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 776

You deserved it 1 686

By randomjulz - 16/06/2011 03:53 - United States

Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After I said no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 275

You deserved it 9 978

By Anna - 13/07/2013 04:40 - United States - New York

Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 334

You deserved it 3 222

By toosmall - 31/01/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 608

You deserved it 2 609

By SadDad - 06/03/2009 01:51 - United States

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 316

You deserved it 4 358

Oh shit…

By half-dead in CA - 31/05/2014 16:39 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 331

You deserved it 4 014

Spooky season has begun

By Anonymous - 04/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was at work at a kiosk in the mall when I smelled something foul. I thought it was the weird dude who'd just walked by so I just carried on with my work. Minutes later, I looked to my right and there, lying on the floor a few feet from me, was a huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 621

You deserved it 161

Check this out

By Anonymous - 19/12/2010 05:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom after he had been in there a while. I found him with his pants down, looking at a pimple on his butt in the mirror. He asked me for, "Help." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 873

You deserved it 4 544

By tmi. - 01/11/2012 13:52 - Australia

Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 057

You deserved it 1 897

karamman 5

Tuesday 24 July 2012 16:16

WTF? So this guy just carries a picture of a turd everywhere he goes?

perdix 29

Tuesday 24 July 2012 16:22

Would you have preferred that he showed you his uncircumcised penis that looks like a turd?

Comments

Drigr 9

Tuesday 24 July 2012 19:07

It's one step short of going, "hey, wanna see an uncircumsized penis that looks like an uncircumsized penis? *whips it out*" Some weird shit man..

IAmJad 18

Tuesday 24 July 2012 19:20

How do you not have time to say no?

scottsteiner 1

Tuesday 24 July 2012 19:33

wanna see two girls making out with one cup?

caitlingracee7 0

Tuesday 24 July 2012 19:37

Thats crappy

fayemae 11

Tuesday 24 July 2012 21:13

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

linkinpark98 23

Tuesday 24 July 2012 21:48

Just be glad it was a picture, and not an actual turd you saw.

caedenW69 0

Tuesday 24 July 2012 21:58

hahahahaha I wonder what that looked like

linkinpark98 23

Tuesday 24 July 2012 22:35

Apparently, it looked like an uncircumcised penis.

daaniel69 6

Tuesday 24 July 2012 22:05

Send me the link! Haha jk

22cute 17

Tuesday 24 July 2012 22:08

Dont all turds kinda look like uncircumcised penises?

Vaginabutter 15

Tuesday 24 July 2012 22:12

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I agree, your life sucks 12

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Today, our baby refuses to sleep through the night. My dad told us to play Heavy Metal because it put me to sleep as a baby. We are currently playing "Jekyll and Hyde" by Five Finger Death Punch on repeat and she’s been asleep for 7 hours. Unfortunately, the neighbours are furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 179

The Top

Today, my boyfriend's dad's new girlfriend gave me a bar of soap, a sequin dress covered in her body odor, and a child-sized used Coach purse that smells like feet. She insists that I wear this outfit to their New Years Eve party. I gave them a bottle of expensive olive oil and a vinegar set. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 095

You deserved it 745

Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 440

You deserved it 10 123

Today, I learned to never eat chicken wings, loaded mashed potatoes with sour cream, cheese, bacon, ranch, and bubbly soda prior to a esthetician appointment. I had uncontrollable gas and made the most foul smelling farts in her face while she was trying to wax my butthole. I was asked to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 2 204

Today, my friend brought four full grown hemp plants home. They cost $100 a pop; meanwhile he still owes $25 from a Lyft ride he claims he can’t pay back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 133

Today, I noticed that my neighbor's house has a clear view of my daughter's bathroom. There is a telescope in his window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 792

You deserved it 3 007

Today, my girlfriend asked me the details for al-Qaeda's plan during 9/11 for an essay. I had no idea and she said she just expected me to know, since I'm "one of those people." I'm Iranian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 173

You deserved it 252