Intimacy: Cheers, asshat

Cheers, asshat

By gross - 15/07/2011 01:09 - Canada

Today, I was playing my guitar outside my apartment building, and some people had put some money in my guitar case. One guy threw in what I thought was a crumpled piece of paper or something. It was actually a used condom. It leaked all over the money and my case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 366

You deserved it 5 036

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Tiptony Buskertano

By Jesus - 21/04/2009 14:39 - United States

Today, I was playing guitar on the sidewalk and had my guitar case open for tips. A man came up with a folded piece of green paper, smiled and walked away. After I was finished, I looked at my tips. I unfolded the paper, it was a note that said "You suck!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 989

You deserved it 11 457

Money Money Money

By Anonymous - 12/03/2020 08:00

Today, as I was coming out of McDonald's, there was a street musician playing outside. He had his saxophone case open for money. I meant to give him a ten, and it wasn't until I got home later that I realized I'd accidentally given him a hundred-dollar bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 1 666

By CircleBruise - 08/06/2010 23:58 - United States

Today, I was playing my guitar and singing on the street corner. I did earn money, when some guy threw a quarter out of his car window for me. It hit me in the face. I now have a circle shaped bruise under my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 480

You deserved it 5 894

By totallyembarassed - 07/07/2012 04:08 - United States - Charlotte

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 004

You deserved it 28 779

By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 607

You deserved it 2 812

By peopleinthepark - 30/05/2009 14:46 - United States

Today, it was beautiful out. I decided to play guitar at the park near my house. I left my guitar case open, asking not for money but for feedback. I got two pieces of paper with feedback: 1) You're fat. 2) Get a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 959

You deserved it 13 439

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 450

You deserved it 42 554

Sex is out of the window

By Anonymous - 30/01/2022 13:59

Today, I heard a woman moaning while I was walking on a sidewalk. I didn't mind, until someone dropped a recently-used condom on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 522

You deserved it 142

By honeynuggetviolin - 01/05/2013 00:31

Today, I spent hours playing my guitar and singing in the street, hoping to make some extra cash. About 3 hours in, I realized some punk had been walking around with a hat taking money as if he was with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 962

You deserved it 5 740

By Otherguy - 18/11/2008 07:36 - France

Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 979

You deserved it 9 415

howslife123 0

Friday 15 July 2011 9:05

I saw a lady throw a bag of dog shit into a guitar case once and the guy sniffed it true story

Calivale 7

Friday 15 July 2011 9:07

eww what an ass. that's messed up.

Comments

ThatLooksSticky 16

Saturday 16 July 2011 6:40

That guy sounds like a giant dick.

toxic10uhc 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 8:05

ydi for being a douchebag, just saying.

plantfood 4

Saturday 16 July 2011 9:13

why was he holding on to a used condom...?

AmethystRain 20

Saturday 16 July 2011 9:18

Honestly, those dollar bills are already so full of feces, cocaine, urine, staphylococcus, and so many other bacterias that a little man-batter probably isn't going to matter in the least. Granted it was a douchey thing to do, but you can always take the money, run it under some water, dry it with some paper towels, and then put it in the freezer for a few hours to kill whatever germs are on it. Then go out and spend it as soon as possible, so someone else can be stuck (no pun intended) with the ****-bills and be none the wiser.

a_nutritionist 10

Sunday 17 July 2011 7:19

..."all over the money AND MY CASE."

stuart169 3

Saturday 16 July 2011 9:49

thats what you get you filthy hobo

stuart169 3

Saturday 16 July 2011 9:53

Maybe he thought you were a filthy bum just trying to score some crack by playing shitty hippy music for money with a trash can beside you. I hate douches like you. You should go die

a_nutritionist 10

Sunday 17 July 2011 6:56

ah yes, because the opinion of a child on the lifestyle choices of others really holds water. by the way, wanting someone to die for playing music is not exactly showing great mental stability. youre either trolling or in need of intense therapy, you at least need to be removed from society until you learn common decency.