Class Wars - UK Edition

By Anonymous - 19/06/2020 14:01

Today, my wife blames me for our son having a “posh” accent, because she thinks he’ll be bullied at school. I’m a Yorkshireman and use “ey up”, “ow do” , “pillock” and “arse” in everyday conversation, whereas my wife was raised in Oxford, I doubt I’m the one making our son sound posh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 700

You deserved it 249

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Bad boys, bad boys, what ya gonna do?

By Joel Lee Burgess - 15/02/2021 22:59 - United States

Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 365

By Anonymous - 19/04/2013 23:33 - Sweden - Ljungby

Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 145

You deserved it 6 039

Bruvophobia

By Anonymous - 01/09/2013 22:35 - United States - Cypress

Today, my mom mentioned how she loves a certain actor's "British" accent. I couldn't help but mention that there's no such thing, and that there are lots of different accents in Britain. She got pissed and lectured me for "lying" to her and trying to make her feel stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 634

You deserved it 20 471

By Anonymous - 23/07/2016 23:04 - United States - Atlanta

Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 871

You deserved it 19 272

2003 TV flashback

By Anonymous - 05/05/2023 18:00

Today, my son brought home a girlfriend who actually talks like Vicky Pollard from Little Britain. I simply couldn’t take her seriously, or even understand what she was talking about. This has to be a prank. In fact, it better be because it’s not funny. My son's an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 303

By Anonymous - 25/05/2012 01:37 - United States - Lawrence

Today, my teenage daughter asked me if accents are hereditary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 721

You deserved it 4 237

#1 Dad of the day

By Anonymous - 19/06/2020 05:02

Today, according to my husband, our son is at the difficult age where he can finally speak fluent English, but is still too childishly dumb to say anything interesting, intelligent or frankly worth listening to at all. There are times I wish I was a divorced single mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295

You deserved it 475

Bumpkin

By I have all my teeth - 08/05/2023 15:00

Today, after two weeks visiting my boyfriend's family in rural Mississippi, we finally returned to civilization. Unfortunately, I pick up on accents really easily, and now I sound like a hick. My boyfriend thinks it's cute, but I hate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 634

Countdown

By Anonymous - 30/04/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom - Normanton

Today, my wife was screaming at our son over his maths homework, so I poked my nose in to help calm them down. My wife was not happy when I pointed out that most of her calculations and answers were wrong, whereas our son got most of his right. I’m now in the doghouse because my wife can’t count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 98

By kdubz23 - 17/02/2014 22:41 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, the parent of a student called to ask me about a homework assignment. At the end of the call, she told me that I seem to be losing my "Asian accent" from when she first talked to me in the summer. I was born in the US, grew up in NJ and speak perfect English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 889

You deserved it 3 397

RichardPencil 30

Friday 19 June 2020 18:14

Is it just me? I'm imagining a kid in a tweed jacket with leather elbow patches, smoking a pipe and hurling Elizabethan insults at other children. "Ye eater of foul meats!" Anyone with me?

Ambrily 27

Friday 19 June 2020 21:03

If you get called a fascist a lot, maybe there's something wrong with the way you express your opinions.

Comments

bloopaloop 27

Friday 19 June 2020 16:34

It’s called Freudian projection. In the US it’s like someone hating you and calling you fascist for not thinking exactly like them.

Ambrily 27

Friday 19 June 2020 21:03

If you get called a fascist a lot, maybe there's something wrong with the way you express your opinions.

bloopaloop 27

Friday 19 June 2020 23:32

That’s the thing about fascists. If you DONT express an opinion, they do that.

ojoRojo 27

Saturday 20 June 2020 17:23

Orrrr it has nothing to do with that. At all.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 19 June 2020 18:14

Is it just me? I'm imagining a kid in a tweed jacket with leather elbow patches, smoking a pipe and hurling Elizabethan insults at other children. "Ye eater of foul meats!" Anyone with me?