Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Cold shower

Cold shower

By MrAwsum - 17/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 543

You deserved it 48 717

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Same thing different taste

Method acting

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 05:08 - United Kingdom - Frome

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 643

You deserved it 45 066

By iris - 18/05/2012 23:01 - Portugal - Lisbon

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 247

You deserved it 36 263

Cheeky

By woopdeedo_1 - 07/03/2010 19:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 235

You deserved it 3 610

Just… why?

By Ob3nie - 14/07/2014 17:45 - United States - San Francisco

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a FaceTime. Busted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 661

You deserved it 54 153

Hello Zoe

By Zoe123 - 19/03/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and started knocking on his door, asking, "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answered, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 266

You deserved it 16 654

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 00:02 - Guatemala - Guatemala City

Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 818

You deserved it 6 576

Nope out of there

By twintowers - 04/07/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 417

You deserved it 23 273

Pull up

By ohdeargodthatswrong - 09/01/2010 13:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 479

You deserved it 6 198

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 586

You deserved it 47 219

Mortified

By killmenow - 21/02/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 000

You deserved it 8 945

mizled 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 23:27

You read your texts during sex? That's just bad manners...

Chaith 16

Tuesday 17 March 2009 23:31

Hey, that's cool, your boyfriend frequents fmylife.com too! "Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML"

Comments

Kellayy 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 5:31

your dad shouldn't have made a sexual reference about his daughter XD

Triggir_Hap_E 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 5:42

#48 uhm suppost? supposed... How stupid must a person feel for such a disgusting misspelling on a post flaming some grammatical error. And, some people's parents accept their child's sexual activity as natural. Also, for all you know the father really likes the guy his daughter is hooking up. But in reality a post from a mister that is from a female point of view is in reality most likely a fake and all this rabble is useless.

roachspray 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 6:24

Dad's heard those noises before, I guess...

oh_emetephobia 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 6:36

Obviously your mom was faking too.

llllPsycho 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 7:24

Haha daddy know's exactly how that sounds.

fizzywizzy22 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 7:31

they thought you weren't actually having sex? or they thought you were faking the ******??

effevery1slife 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 7:45

how do u come home n think noones home? did u check the driveway for cars? come on now... maybe u should try faking concern for the fact that other people live in ur house EEERRRR! ur parents house

bsellnow 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 10:01

I don't believe this one. Who reads a text during sex? If you are actually a woman and this did happen, then you deserved it because (a) faking it is demeaning to the guy and (b) WHY were you reading a text during sex? Very rude.

0 3

Wednesday 18 March 2009 10:16

Why answer your phone "just as it was getting good"?

Zic_fml 7

Wednesday 18 March 2009 15:11

Whoa Grammar Gestapos! "Your" is CORRECT here, it's a possesive pronoun, ie "can tell your WHAT [faking]. So faking is an object, gerund to be precise, although I think "you are" form would fit here better, this one is correct nevertheless. "me and my boyfriend" is also correct here, even though I is in its objective form. In BE it is less common, the form "he and I" is more common. OP: Fake no more!

valmont_fml 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 20:42

Actually, "you're" is correct, as it is short for "you are." Additionally, you would need to use "I" instead of "me." The easy way to tell is remove the other subject. "Me came back to my house..." doesn't work, while "I came back to my house..." does.