Intimacy: Committed - FML

Committed

By gottacatchemall - 08/01/2014 05:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 854

You deserved it 29 010

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/03/2012 07:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 063

You deserved it 59 340

A tale as old as time

By flopsy - 03/12/2010 16:19 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 418

You deserved it 11 365

By EliseV - 03/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Chino Hills

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 970

You deserved it 6 007

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 01:23 - Canada - Bedford

Spicy

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 044

You deserved it 6 089

By ShouldveStayedAVirgin - 13/01/2016 18:30 - United States - Houston

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 925

You deserved it 7 085

Giggle loop

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Spicy

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 319

You deserved it 38 282

By Lady Vulva - 19/09/2015 02:56

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 974

You deserved it 3 072

Running gag

By needsomelove - 20/10/2019 06:00 - France

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 364

You deserved it 333

ADHD brain

By Unknown - 18/10/2011 04:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple of seconds later and played video games instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 936

You deserved it 6 401

By Anonymous - 04/03/2012 07:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 845

You deserved it 4 244

Next

Top comments

sugarysofalof 22

Wednesday 8 January 2014 14:15

Much more fun and less painful :) but don't worry about it, maybe it just wasn't the right time. You guys will get there, OP :)

Zestus 19

Wednesday 8 January 2014 14:16

sex is overrated anyway. pokémon ftw.

Comments

truecommenter 7

Thursday 9 January 2014 5:11

get a life, virgin

bobslawnservice 16

Thursday 9 January 2014 5:12

That is actually adorable. Don't worry. It will happen when you are both ready for it.

Obito_Uchiha651 17

Thursday 9 January 2014 5:24

Did he at least Squirtle on your Jigglypuff?

Axel5238 29

Thursday 9 January 2014 5:33

Waiting is good, but first time is always awkward. Even with new a new gf, everyone has likes and dislikes that well you kinda find out from experience. You shouldn't feel pressured to go further than comfortable. There is nothing to rush, I lucked out and my first gf and first time was with my best female friend that I had known for 4 1/2 years. You shouldn't feel pressured, you'll enjoy it more when it does happen.

D4nnyD4rkn3ss 6

Thursday 9 January 2014 5:39

Why not both?

jacklyn13 5

Thursday 9 January 2014 5:41

WHAT... Pokemon? Really!!!

Saikon1357 25

Thursday 9 January 2014 5:43

Wish my gf loved pokemon that much...

JaiBrooks5 13

Thursday 9 January 2014 5:51

I lost my v card when I was eleven

RaySimon 7

Thursday 9 January 2014 5:55

That sounds awesome!! Sucks it didn't happen but better to play pokémon than sit there awkwardly!! Pikachu for the win!!

Raging_hamster 5

Thursday 9 January 2014 6:03

What's the point? It's not like there's any reason to anyway.

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You deserved it 179

Stop everything you're doing right now, there's an (almost) naked lady in today's illustration! Plus, there's a puppet AND doctors. It's the perfect illustration, made by Gemma Correll, our British artist of the day. Check out her interview! ...

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 9

The Top

Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 301

You deserved it 6 440

Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend leaving a store. She used to ridicule me for not making much money, but I now have a good job and a BMW. Trying to show off, I cranked up the music and drove by. She looked up right as I hit a car backing out of its parking space. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 577

You deserved it 11 342

Today, I dislocated my big toe doing a stupid stunt to impress a woman, who turned out to be married anyway. The toe won’t go back in, so the doctor thinks it might need a surgical fix. I don’t have insurance so this is going to be fucking expensive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 1 463

Today, my power went out due to a huge snow storm. I was in desperate need of candles and flashlights. I had to walk to the store since the roads were closed. I walked 4 miles in the blizzard. When I got home, the power came back on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 006

You deserved it 8 500

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 377

You deserved it 4 191

Today, I got a text from an unknown number that said, "Are you free tonight?" Thinking it was a friend messing around, I responded with, "Only if you're buying booze and dinner." The reply a few minutes later was, "This is Dr. Peters, your dentist. You missed your appointment today. You need to reschedule." FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 451