Intimacy: Congrats - FML

Congrats

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 22:44 - Canada - Rosetown

Spicy

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 822

You deserved it 8 593

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By petpeeeve - 11/03/2009 02:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 898

You deserved it 10 284

By Kylee Day - 27/08/2019 06:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for a second time. When I was getting dressed afterwards with him sitting next to me, there was a silence. To break it, he grabbed my hand and fistbumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 410

By trina - 22/03/2009 09:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I started stroking the back of his neck with both of my hands. He told me, "Your hands are nice and smooth like my grandmother's." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 407

You deserved it 7 977

Frustrated wank

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 19:00

Spicy

Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 304

By Great. - 18/05/2012 15:05 - United States - Billings

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 011

You deserved it 5 346

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 133

You deserved it 4 526

First time?

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 11:56 - United States - Westminster

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 286

You deserved it 6 901

New Romantics

By sallyfradoodle - 13/03/2020 21:00

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that he was my first kiss. His reply? I was the first person he ever whacked off to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 599

You deserved it 444

By disapointed girl - 28/12/2009 16:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 008

You deserved it 5 892

Instructions

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 05:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 568

You deserved it 16 444

Next

Top comments

annie_nk 22

Monday 28 January 2013 1:24

Grab his penis, shake it and say "You too."

itsalanis 25

Monday 28 January 2013 1:22

Well, you must have done a good job then.

Comments

octopussperm125 18

Monday 28 January 2013 2:00

Very professional

SwtCherryPie 26

Monday 28 January 2013 2:02

FYL how?

female_troller 12

Monday 28 January 2013 2:02

Friends with benefits from now on I presume?

finnrambo 13

Monday 28 January 2013 2:03

not the most romantic way but whatever floats your boat I guess...

acerima 11

Monday 28 January 2013 2:08

Damn sweetie, I thought that was a compliment, sorry.

perdix 29

Monday 28 January 2013 2:09

A little awkward, but certainly less so than, "You da man!!!"

BabeWithThePower 5

Monday 28 January 2013 2:12

Ah, the awkward handshake...

2young2feelold 3

Monday 28 January 2013 2:16

He could had said call you later

xoxolifesucks 8

Monday 28 January 2013 8:51

have*

theawkwardlife 21

Monday 28 January 2013 2:17

what were you expecting?

edd1987 9

Monday 28 January 2013 2:20

Doing a bad job lol

Shrike 23

Monday 28 January 2013 2:28

45- I'll tell you what she WASN'T expecting: a ******* handshake and a "good job" to trivialize something that she probably wanted to be very special and serious.

theawkwardlife 21

Monday 28 January 2013 2:53

so.. a very good job?

micahdunk 13

Monday 28 January 2013 2:21

Hey that's better than him looking for a new girlfriend.

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Keywords

Awkward Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money Relatable Kids Parenting DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, I really wanted to spend a night of passion with my lover, so I'd arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number, and waited for him in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it slowly and enticingly, assuming it was him. It was room service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 406

You deserved it 11 953

Today, I learned that I actually like my boiled eggs a bit softer than I usually make them. I also learned that an outwardly lukewarm egg, when bitten into enthusiastically, is perfectly capable of creating a volcanic eruption of boiling hot yolk all over your hands, clothes and kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 413

The Top

Today, I woke up and looked over to see the "beautiful girl" I slept with last night. Turns out it was the obsessive girl from my class with a man-face I had avoided all semester. In conclusion, beer goggles are very real and very powerful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 824

You deserved it 46 890

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 846

You deserved it 127 655

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 312

You deserved it 7 116

Today, as I squatted down to get a snack, my pajama pants ripped wide open. I guess the universe is try to tell me something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 442

You deserved it 1 855

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message while we were having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 610

You deserved it 542

Today, I had to drive my girlfriend to the hospital because she had a severe allergic reaction to the flowers I brought her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 052

You deserved it 5 234