New Romantics

By sallyfradoodle - 13/03/2020 21:00

Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that he was my first kiss. His reply? I was the first person he ever whacked off to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 599

You deserved it 444

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Same thing different taste

Congrats

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 22:44 - Canada - Rosetown

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 822

You deserved it 8 592

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 959

You deserved it 14 587

Bad timing

By Proprepourtant - 16/04/2011 11:28 - France

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 951

You deserved it 12 577

Our anniversary

By Anonymous - 27/12/2019 20:00

Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blowjob from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 498

You deserved it 509

By Anonymous - 14/12/2013 18:50

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 928

You deserved it 9 845

By snortingspunk - 03/12/2015 12:52 - South Africa

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 458

You deserved it 4 132

By blower - 11/04/2011 04:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blow job from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 855

You deserved it 9 302

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 18:06 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 623

You deserved it 4 102

By Maddii1112 - 10/08/2016 19:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he loved me for the first time in a way I'll never forget. In fact, his exact words were, "You're not the only one that I love." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 572

You deserved it 1 116

First time?

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 11:56 - United States - Westminster

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 285

You deserved it 6 901

Aru Naddon 6

Friday 13 March 2020 21:13

When you think about it...it’s kind of nice. 🤷🏽‍♀️

RichardPencil 30

Friday 13 March 2020 22:12

That escalated quickly. I'd say he won that round. What else you got?

Comments

Aru Naddon 6

Friday 13 March 2020 21:13

When you think about it...it’s kind of nice. 🤷🏽‍♀️

RichardPencil 30

Friday 13 March 2020 22:12

That escalated quickly. I'd say he won that round. What else you got?

jbuckets_404 38

Friday 13 March 2020 23:13

Ah, love at first sight!

fjvitt 14

Saturday 14 March 2020 0:55

The first....but not the last???

jk_waks 20

Saturday 14 March 2020 4:16

Made for each other! <3

MitiMiki 16

Saturday 14 March 2020 10:59

Kinda romantic, in a way..

Gubbon 17

Saturday 14 March 2020 16:36

Cute.

WistayShlaio82 13

Sunday 15 March 2020 1:09

You have nice taste in boys. I feel like you have a long line of energy drinking obey wearing boys in your future

C_J_21 2

Sunday 15 March 2020 23:29

Maybe you can be my lucky number 345 😏😂

boogerjt 6

Monday 16 March 2020 2:53

I think that quite a compliment.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Awkward Wanker Lonely Halloween Love Party Jealousy Family Argument Fight Animals Cats Parents Health Embarrassing Sports Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings Pranks TikTok YouTube Dogs Cute Work AITA

The Top

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 184

You deserved it 8 136

Today, while working my overnight shift, I went into the isolation room to find some items for a former client. The door fell shut and the magnetic lock went to work. Both unit telephones and my cell phone were lying on the desk, and I waited four hours for my supervisor to rescue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 684

You deserved it 4 846

The Top

Today, my girlfriend dumped me after I told her I was learning how to start having lucid dreams. She was convinced the only reason I could possibly want to have them was so I could cheat on her in my own dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 370

You deserved it 1 337

Today, I called a cab to get me and my cat home from the vet. After a 40 minute wait and three calls to the taxi company, the operator told me that the driver she sent to my location just confirmed that he already has a woman with my name and a cat in his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 065

You deserved it 790

Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 938

You deserved it 55 978

Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 338

You deserved it 454

Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 700

You deserved it 47 503

Today, I made the mistake of revealing my finger in a photo. The first comment was, "I bet that finger has never been in a vagina before." The image wasn't remotely NSFW. I'm now afraid of showing any body part in any photo I take ever again, assuming these disgusting creeps are always gonna be around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 138