Intimacy: Considerate boyfriend - FML

Considerate boyfriend

By Anonymous - 29/05/2013 07:17 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 851

You deserved it 15 858

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 715

You deserved it 35 131

By Anonymous - 07/12/2011 17:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 886

You deserved it 20 681

Mr Clean

By Anonymous - 18/01/2013 10:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 274

You deserved it 7 596

By BarbieKen - 14/06/2009 04:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 142

You deserved it 63 340

Communication

By GoneLimp - 07/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Havelock

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy-style and noticed a piece of toilet paper had been "left behind". I had such a bad internal conflict about whether to tell her or to remove it myself, I went limp. She started crying and accused me of not being attracted to her anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 952

You deserved it 1 648

By FUCK GOD - 03/02/2013 23:04 - Argentina - Salta

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 126

You deserved it 4 861

Compromising situation

By anonymous - 16/07/2011 13:18 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper, we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset, so I politely asked where the bathroom was so I could "powder my nose;" After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 698

You deserved it 4 963

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 438

You deserved it 4 060

By Anonymous - 08/09/2018 06:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend sent me some nudes while I was at work, so I went into the bathroom to rub one out. When I was done, I realized there was no paper towels… or toilet paper… or soap. I'm really sticky right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 5 853

By jester777 - 22/01/2011 17:39 - United States

Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 550

You deserved it 49 426

Next

Top comments

Frankenstein611 10

Wednesday 29 May 2013 17:03

Thats just nasty!

life_sucks225 13

Wednesday 29 May 2013 17:02

i hope it was worth it

Comments

larryb1986 9

Thursday 30 May 2013 0:38

My guess he was going down on her and she had some toilet paper specs left over from the last time she used the restroom

stanjohnson 11

Thursday 30 May 2013 0:55

You are more man than I am, Charlie Brown.

ouibijou 15

Thursday 30 May 2013 1:04

That's why you should always use your fingers first before "diving in."

MermaidAnnariea 10

Thursday 30 May 2013 1:16

you're a ******* trooper. my boyfriend won't go down on me at all, and i keep it really clean.

DeathInACan 3

Thursday 30 May 2013 1:17

And if he would have brought this fact to the girlfriend's attention, then we would have another fml from her on our hands..

jan24210ette 3

Thursday 30 May 2013 1:33

My husbands done that now I just make sure I'm always showered no matter what

EtherealNight85 9

Thursday 30 May 2013 2:14

Sounds like you need to take interest in shower sexy times, for your sake. Possibly a straight up chat on the value of hygiene towards fun times... and life.

sofineedsaladder 10

Thursday 30 May 2013 2:21

Good boyfriend is good. Took one for the team.

Starrbabie 11

Thursday 30 May 2013 2:29

What the hell

000lizzy000 13

Thursday 30 May 2013 3:18

That's gross. On so many levels

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The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 64

Today, I realized how low my husband's libido has gotten over the years. He has zero intention of trying anything to fix it, no matter how hard I try. I don't even think I'm horny anymore as much as intimately touched starved. He ran his hand down my back in passing and I almost burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 379

You deserved it 232

The Top

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend only stayed with me because he didn't want to "be alone," and now that he has a new girlfriend, apparently he won't be. We were together for three and a half years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 994

You deserved it 3 123

Today, I was walking around my new school trying to figure out where to go. Then I realized I was talking to myself. Out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 554

You deserved it 10 752

Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 640

You deserved it 4 728

Today, my ex texted me after more than a year of no communication. He wanted to know if I was interested in having a threesome with him and his current fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 292

You deserved it 2 687

Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 626

You deserved it 4 626

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 428

You deserved it 4 883