Intimacy: Considerate boyfriend - FML

FML for mobile
Free

Open in app

Considerate boyfriend

By Anonymous - 29/05/2013 07:17 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 865

You deserved it 15 860

Summer vacations: Sun and blunders
From beaches to campsites, embark on a journey filled with laughter under the sun... and a few sunburns! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 717

You deserved it 35 145

By Anonymous - 07/12/2011 17:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 904

You deserved it 20 693

Mr Clean

By Anonymous - 18/01/2013 10:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 298

You deserved it 7 604

By BarbieKen - 14/06/2009 04:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 160

You deserved it 63 362

Communication

By GoneLimp - 07/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Havelock

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy-style and noticed a piece of toilet paper had been "left behind". I had such a bad internal conflict about whether to tell her or to remove it myself, I went limp. She started crying and accused me of not being attracted to her anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 982

You deserved it 1 667

By FUCK GOD - 03/02/2013 23:04 - Argentina - Salta

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 144

You deserved it 4 866

Compromising situation

By anonymous - 16/07/2011 13:18 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper, we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset, so I politely asked where the bathroom was so I could "powder my nose;" After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 714

You deserved it 4 968

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 453

You deserved it 4 067

By Anonymous - 08/09/2018 06:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend sent me some nudes while I was at work, so I went into the bathroom to rub one out. When I was done, I realized there was no paper towels… or toilet paper… or soap. I'm really sticky right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 5 871

By jester777 - 22/01/2011 17:39 - United States

Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 555

You deserved it 49 443

Next

Top comments

Frankenstein611 10

Wednesday 29 May 2013 17:03

Thats just nasty!

life_sucks225 13

Wednesday 29 May 2013 17:02

i hope it was worth it

Comments

Plexia 9

Friday 31 May 2013 0:22

Once upon a time when I was young and innocent I read this article in Cosmo called 'A Dudes Perspective on Oral Sex' or some such jurkery. Apparently the above is (was? this was early 2000s - eesh) the no. one turn off for guys giving head... Even above smelly vaginas and beforested snatch! Cosmo's advice? Don't wipe. Thanks Cosmo. Thank you for everything.

tanabanana13 14

Friday 31 May 2013 0:35

Eww... I never let my boyfriend down there until I've cleaned up in the bathroom first.

LifelessStars 22

Friday 31 May 2013 1:22

I say YDI you could've just said no and tell her to take a shower.

BananerzFresh 12

Friday 31 May 2013 3:44

Oh No! Have you no shame!?

Old_Lady_80 1

Friday 31 May 2013 6:23

That's Nasty, but very kind of you not to make a big deal of it.

Neverend3r 5

Friday 31 May 2013 7:06

on nom nom

Neverend3r 5

Friday 31 May 2013 7:07

at least it wasn't analingus.

YeaSo3 14

Friday 31 May 2013 8:29

I don't have sympathy for Op his ass did not have to eat that toilet paper..he could have said something ..she would have hopefully got it out and then he could have did his best to get "the moment" back

bookworm713 14

Friday 31 May 2013 12:00

You should've just picked it out.

Crashed1 5

Friday 31 May 2013 16:12

That's just discussing ;(

12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Technology Frustration Amazon Annoying Work Miscellaneous Friends Parents Awkward Health Family Dogs Kids Coworkers Healthy Lifestyle Relatable Embarrassing Neighbours Love Gross Scams Money Confused Anniversary Weird Students Exams Education Birthday Pranks

The Top

Today, I had a date with a woman I had been talking to for a month. We hit it off, the date went fantastic, and we agreed to see each other again. Fast forward a few hours and I'm told she decided to pursue someone else, equates it to "bad timing", but wants to be friends. If not for bad luck, I'd have no luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 100

Today, I picked up on a telemarketer and started speaking in Portuguese. It turns out that this particular telemarketer spoke it as well. Every time I hung up, he called back. Telemarketers get really excited when they find out someone else speaks their language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 531

You deserved it 10 465

The Top

Today, my son and I attended my mother's funeral. It was the first time he'd been to such an event, so to ease his grief and distract him, I turned on Max and Ruby when we got home. He quickly broke into tears; apparently, it was the episode where Max and Ruby prepare their grandma a special birthday gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 150

You deserved it 5 067

Today, my best friend got engaged to the guy she's been seeing for five years. He also happens to be the man I've been in love with for eight. As she was giving me the details, she nonchalantly gave me her reason for accepting the proposal: "Why the hell not, there's always divorce." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 450

You deserved it 4 532

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 199

You deserved it 3 531

Today, my rabbit died. He died a painful death from ingesting too much carpet. I now have no rabbit and a patchy carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 849

You deserved it 6 791

Today, getting home from a long day at work, I checked the mail and saw three envelopes from the IRS. Apparently I now owe over $4,000. I only have $2 in my bank account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 632

You deserved it 411

Today, I put my phone on top the car while putting my daughter in her car seat. Told myself not to forget it. Then I drove away, and it flew off the top of the car on the freeway. It got ran over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 1 539