YES to 18 

Well said.

that sounds like a smart thing to do, there is no rush for marriage lol

very well said.

The sad reality is that if they have a certain wedding in mind, it might take years and years to save up for it, if they even could. If the bride has been dreaming of her wedding day and had it all planned out since she was 4, there really is no plan B. Yes it's about the guy and not the wedding, but you don't want to be 10 years down the road saying "man I wish I'd had that big wedding" and sad the rest of your life that you didn't get that dream wedding. And not only that, maybe they've already been together a really long time and don't want to have to wait an extra few years. That extra few years can be torture, trust me.

@ 266 - while it's true that the bride may be one of those people that has dreamed of her big day since she was a little girl, if the mother in law is planning it, she's not going to get that dream wedding - she's going to get the mother in law's dream wedding. I doubt that the only criteria for her fantasy is a "big" wedding - she may want certain flowers, to have it at a certain place, etc. None of that will be possible with some domineering old woman trying to relive her own youth by taking over OP's day. It would be better for the couple to just elope or wait until they can pay for their OWN dream wedding. Shut her down now or pay the price throughout the entire length of your marriage, OP.

you meant horrific right?

AKA monster-in-law

#67 does not understand sarcasm.

...OR, just be honest with her and stand up for yourself NOW, because things WILL only get worse from here on out. If that's the way she's going to treat you with YOUR wedding plans, can you imagine how she's going to treat you with any other situation?! She will continue to control you all throughout the marriage, and it won't be fun. No one deserves to be treated like that, so put her in her place now.

It's her money.

Shouldn't really matter if it is her money.Its not her wedding. I'm not saying that she shouldn't have any say in what goes on, but she can't control everything just because it's her money. You shouldn't put money into someone else's wedding because you want to control it. You should give them money because you want to make them happy. OP: In-laws are one of the biggest causes of divorce. Youshould probably get things straightened out before you tie the knot.

I agree 108. My comment was directed at 25 seeing as he/she was saying the mother-in-law has absolutely no say and that they should tell her the wrong date(although that wouldn't be easy to do).

Why is everyone missing the fact that the future mother-in-law is only putting money into the wedding? That implies that she is not paying for the whole thing but merely contributing to existing funds. Therefore there is no reason for her to have total authority over what happens. She should at most have some say in the parts she is helping to pay for. That was mostly directed towards #97

#129 Did you not read the comment above? 25 is saying the mother-in-law shouldn't have ANY control. I am saying that since it's her money she should have a say. Not all of the control, of course, BUT she IS still paying. Therefore she should be able to have her part but not 100% her way.

She shouldnt have a say, shes helping her son out in a way many parents do but that doesnt mean she should get to control it. She has every right to voice her opinion but that doesnt mean the people actually getting married have to follow it. Sadly some families are like this but in my opinion if you can afford it just dont accept the money and have a smaller wedding your way.

Sorry A7X_LoVeee I seriously misread the comment. I was really tired, and quite heavily medicated when I wrote my comment. I apologize.

Chibi, no worries! (:

I agree run as fast as you can! This is just the beginning it will never end. It is so true you marry the whole family.