Miscellaneous: Corny jokes

Corny jokes

By embarrassed - 12/07/2009 18:25 - United States

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said, "This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 343

You deserved it 12 701

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By Anonymous - 10/08/2015 00:37 - United States - Plano

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 811

You deserved it 2 556

By Anonymous - 16/02/2013 00:39 - Italy - Milan

Today, while at the store with my mom, we ran into the girl I recently confessed to being interested in. My mom decided to shout, "IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?!" Embarrassed, I desperately told her to be quiet. She grounded me for being "rude" to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 811

You deserved it 3 779

By FattestUgliestPerson - 18/01/2014 09:45 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 179

You deserved it 7 690

By Dammit... - 20/11/2010 02:45 - United States

Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 259

You deserved it 3 691

Stars of CCTV

By Stfu lil brat smh - 26/03/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 1 970

Unnecessary

By Ava K - 01/10/2019 16:02 - United States - San Diego

Today, my mom and I were looking at dresses for me at the mall. The cashier pointed out a dress, and my mom said, "She's definitely not going to fit into that. She's too flat-chested." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 575

You deserved it 178

By woopwoop - 18/04/2009 01:22 - United States

Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, I noticed that myself and the woman in front of me were wearing the same shirt. As she was about to leave, I said to her "Hey! I'm wearing that shirt!" She turned to me and replied, "Not in THIS size you aren't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 221

You deserved it 10 894

By anonymous22kittylicklick - 20/08/2011 04:44 - United States

Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 483

You deserved it 2 845

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 167

You deserved it 3 833

Wait, what?

By HereToLaughAtU - 18/11/2014 04:16 - United States - Des Moines

Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 493

You deserved it 4 810

MrGlad 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 23:44

Cool mom, lol. I wish my mom was like that...

Pb_lily 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 23:45

Oh get over yourself. Your mom is funny.

Comments

MrGlad 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 23:44

Cool mom, lol. I wish my mom was like that...

Sorrel 0

Monday 13 July 2009 0:21

Lol, my mom IS like that, she would have said that too. And it says THAT"S instead of THAT'S. Grammar Nazi.

forget_it_all09 0

Monday 13 July 2009 0:48

Wow, so he accidentally pressed shift...you"re a moron. (I pressed shift on purpose.) c/s I didn't get it until I saw it was a man writing this, then I burst out laughing. Fun times, fun times

FarSide 22

Monday 13 July 2009 1:01

Your best response would have been: "But it's not what DADDY said".

dinosaursmoo 0

Monday 13 July 2009 2:31

Haha I;m jealous of your mom. My mom is snobby. And if I said that, she'd be like "Who is /she/? One of your friends from school, dahling?"

SoniaLovesYou 0

Monday 13 July 2009 2:43

Agreed. Your life sucks...but your mom rocks. ^_^

DJ20 0

Monday 13 July 2009 3:43

This isn't a FML, this is funny. Add this to http://www.twssstories.com/ its site that focuses only on That's What She Said stories

Megasadface 0

Monday 13 July 2009 3:57

you fail at understanding the joke, douche :]

generalsmith2 0

Monday 13 July 2009 4:56

# 45 i voted you down. no need for grammar nazis on fml.

FarSide 22

Monday 13 July 2009 5:03

@85... No, I am positive his dad is not a woman. I am positive your mommy and daddy raised one ignorant asshole of a child. "THAT'S WHAT I SAID". Enema.

dasauto 0

Monday 13 July 2009 5:29

We didn't start the flame war...

volleyballgirl16 0

Monday 13 July 2009 5:56

ha me too, his mom wins

brunettebabe 0

Monday 13 July 2009 7:30

Lollll I wish my mom was like that

LeedsFML 0

Monday 13 July 2009 8:47

Sorrel? Is that the name of a poisonous plant??

_THE_MASTER_ 0

Monday 13 July 2009 14:36

#85, EPIC FAIL. you clearly need some more schooling, and maybe a little real-world experience. please refrain from commenting/posting ANYWHERE on the internet until you fulfill at least one of these criteria. and i gave your comment the thumbs down, even though it's been buried already. OP - your mom is awesome. and I want to marry her. really.

hecuva 0

Monday 13 July 2009 19:27

LOL my friend and i do these jokes all the time at work, her mom works with us and heard it once... She replied with "but that is what she said" which made us laugh even harder!

Ruetero 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 7:40

Your mom is totally awesome

wiggz1990 0

Monday 24 May 2010 15:53

I love ur mom lol she's awesome

dudeofboredomxd 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 6:03

no, you don't

supersailor32 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 3:59

85 is right. the mom really said that she did that with HER last night. girls are suppossed to say that's what he said. dipshits...

Alice_Cullen7 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 23:45

Lol! Embarrassing!

supersailor32 0

Wednesday 23 March 2011 3:52

the mom failed at it anyways.

Pb_lily 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 23:45

Oh get over yourself. Your mom is funny.

Curtieeeez 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 23:53

I agree. My mum's the sort of person to do something like this, and I'm grateful she's like that, as opposed to some snobby mother.

allylalala 0

Monday 13 July 2009 1:54

yeah it'd be alright if she was funny or something, but my mom tries to act like teenagers and fit in with my friends. if op's mom is like that too, then thats superrrr awkward

Regenbogen 0

Monday 13 July 2009 20:52

haha yeah, i mean it's really great for a while to have a mom like that but one time my mom and i were meeting my brother's girlfriend's roommate for the first time and she made a "That's what she said" joke. it got kinda awkward. so i completely understand.

sinehan18 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 23:45

haha that is possibly the most prime "that's what she said" ever.

genius_man16 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 7:58

I agree. The OP's mom rules to the extreme.

GENNNA_ 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 23:45

Hahahahaha, I love your Mother.

redbluegreen 40

Monday 13 July 2009 0:29

Me too. Hahaha.

kaileebug 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 2:58

I would be so proud of my mom if she said that!

riku3220 2

Sunday 12 July 2009 23:45

Watch what you say next time, I would've said it even if I was the cashier.

padlarf 14

Sunday 12 July 2009 23:46

I don't understand this one at all

Maddoctor 10

Sunday 12 July 2009 23:52

What, you've never heard a "That's what she said." joke? Hang around any teenager, and you'll understand what they are very quickly.

padlarf 14

Sunday 12 July 2009 23:55

Must be an american thing then

Nuklear 0

Monday 13 July 2009 0:27

The phrase "That's what she said" turns anything into a sexual joke. It's usually referring to what your sex partner said about your penis the other day. Guy 1: *referring to a TV he's seeing* Whoa! This is huge! Guy 2: That's what she said!