Crank

By Anonymous - 29/03/2013 04:11 - United States - Houston

Spicy
Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 723
You deserved it 21 482
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Top comments

phantumgrey 6

Watch **** and then you'll be in an orgy. No more forever alone

142 9
horrorfield 6

That happens to me too :( except I AM a little bitch. Probably why I'm lonely..

116 5

Comments

bishbosh 7

I feel ya OP. Same thing happened to me when I was going through a break up. But I'm a girl so I can get away with it a bit more. I agree with 2035, feel comfortable and confident in your own skin, go out, make new friends and have new experiences. You'll find someone new along the way.

9 5
not_a_robot 15

You agree with 2035? I wish I had such impressive skills as to see the future.

9 2
Bakarra 22

Apparently somewhere in the near future this thread blows up into the argument for the ages with thousands of fmlers weighing in...

2 2
not_a_robot 15

Many will fall and few will remain victorious. I have started preparing my grammar skills and crappy puns as we speak.

2 0
iTag_Skorn 4

Well, look at the bright side. You can use your tears as lube now.

15 4
Vicanlp 10

"Crying like a little bitch"? Really? I feel bad for you, man, but you lose some of my sympathy for degrading women in that way. Crying is seen as feminine, being a bitch is feminine, and using either one of those against a guy apparently undermines his masculinity so much that it's one of the worst insults a man can suffer. Putting those two together to describe yourself in a state of misery and self-pity? Degrading to women. If you don't want to be so lonely, maybe you should work on that.

9 49
DrownedMyFish 18

The word bitch does not always refer to women. Like any other word, it has gained multiple meanings over the years. It is also not as degrading to women as it once was because there are girls that call their selves bitches all the time. It is quite obvious that OP had no intention of degrading women with this FML. You just seem to over think and analyze the smallest things and blow them out of proportion. If you really feel that strong about the usage of the word bitch go complain somewhere else. I can guarantee that zero ***** will be given by the FML community.

20 1
OptimusVader 23

Some times I cry like a little bitch too, and I'm a girl. This does not make me an actual bitch, nor would I ever take it as an insult.

10 1
DizzyWrong 2

No...just stop, you're doing the most.

0 3
lylotrezor 20

I completely agree with you, 20. And to people who think the word bitch is not insulting, I respect your opinion, I just don't think it's realistic. Words do reflect the way we think.

4 13
InhumanX 7

Really?.... Life is too short to be spent getting offended by a word. Live, laugh, love, and move on.

4 2
Mr_Satan 11

First off, anyone who gets offended by someone insulting themself is an idiot. Secondly, "Crying like a little bitch", means an adult balling their eyes out like a 2 year old who spilled some milk. Has nothing to do with gender to most people. If you take it as degrading women, it's probably because of your own sexist views.

7 0
jogihoppa8343 23

may be you should search out for someone on FML coz most us here are smart enough to keep you up from being alone n crying..

1 9
dwc2134 5

It happens. I was so torn up and depressed after my last ex and I ended things, I couldn't even get it up. Was three months before I was actually in the mood to whack it, much less find a companion to do it for me or do it to.

7 1
NewYorkMexPR 14

Lol get a sex doll. Maybe that would help. But dont tell other people or u will be extra forever alone :|

4 3
rg350dx 29

Don't whine and sob while you play with your knob! Get a girlfriend, then get a *******!

8 3
AnimeBitch 14

Escort service, maybe? You'll feel better, if only for a night

3 4
spunkyo5 3

Dude, Come on. Everyone has someone. You have just reached the time in your life when you need to stand up, find time in your life, and find a partner for yourself. I don't care if its from a website, a public encounter, or some freak accident. Dont EVEr get down on yourself for some stupid shit like this. I'm not coming down on you, I'm rooting for you! Go get a girl! Stop the cycle! change your life and become something more!

4 3
Epikouros 31

Being ready for a relationship takes more than just finding a warm body to share your life with.

2 0
Epikouros 31

And I'm rooting for OP, but I know you don't help depressed people by denying their problems.

4 0