Spiders, Phobias and Animals: Creeped out - FML

Creeped out

By NotASpiderMan - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 958

You deserved it 6 218

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

SPIDERS!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while cleaning out my garage, I found a pregnant spider. I couldn't step on the spider without releasing the baby spiders, so I went inside to get a glass jar to trap it. While trying to relocate the spider, I accidentally stepped on it. I now have a bunch of baby spiders roaming around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 007

You deserved it 7 359

Surprising

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 311

Jump scare

By izzy46111 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 480

You deserved it 5 317

Self report

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 711

You deserved it 8 763

Demon child

By PeanutlyDisabled - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 797

You deserved it 3 393

Freak out

By zAstonish - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 263

You deserved it 4 197

The ending of Lost explained

By Morgan - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 862

You deserved it 30 067

Caturday surprise!

By Cats...FML - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, it's my sister's birthday. My parents got her a cat. I have serious allergies when it comes to cats. When I brought this issue up with my parents, they replied, "This day is not about you, it's about your sister." I can feel my throat tightening already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 610

You deserved it 3 424

Snek

By snakeboy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for God knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowingly drove it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 651

You deserved it 48 209

Zit remedy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting ready for a date when I noticed a spot on my chin. To get rid of it, I applied my sister's spot cream rather than picking it off. Within minutes, my entire chin looked like a swollen tomato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 201

You deserved it 7 346

Next

Top comments

Theglc20 27

Sunday 11 October 2015 18:30

I would have just burned down the house

dudeutookhrs 24

Sunday 11 October 2015 18:29

No shame in that!

Comments

Jryan952015 7

Monday 12 October 2015 1:23

I know this is stupid but the first thing that came across my mind was and you have been single for how long?

Destiny8745 29

Monday 12 October 2015 3:26

To everyone saying that it's just a spider, you do know that arachnophobia is one of the most common phobias, right?

worldclassrager 39

Monday 12 October 2015 4:35

She has balls of steel while you are a pussy...

roomfulloflegos 4

Monday 12 October 2015 5:02

that's what I would've done

Sheepies123 6

Monday 12 October 2015 21:29

Pussy its a freaking spider

S1N9UL4R17Y 8

Tuesday 13 October 2015 1:29

You can't be a pussy your whole life.

punmaster 2

Tuesday 13 October 2015 2:49

Your username makes it even funnier

INDYSTRUCTABLE 43

Tuesday 13 October 2015 4:27

burn the bed and the pillow to be safe

cpguru24 16

Wednesday 15 November 2023 20:09

This is a YDI. HOWEVER I would have done the same thing! I had a room mate that had to kill all the spiders for me as I shreiked and involuntarily screamed his name. We are 2 dudes. Its always fun when my girlfriend is over and I scream for my friend to "HELP!!!! KILL IT!!!!!!"

Keywords

Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Gross Smells Love Awkward Embarrassing Miscellaneous Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Social Media Music Grieving Anniversary Boredom Ironic Intimacy Abuse Drunk AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Alcohol Parents Gun control Kids

The Top

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 974

You deserved it 3 568

Today, my girlfriend is mad I won’t indulge her “Sleeping Beauty” fantasy. She doesn’t want me to just kiss her, she wants me to full on fuck her. Call me crazy but I just can’t get it up for a passed out person. Yes it’s consensual, but it just feels uncomfortable. She doesn’t get why I’m not into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 358

The Top

Today, I found out you really can burn down a kitchen by boiling an egg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 474

You deserved it 840

Today, I joined a local interest website, hoping to make some friends in my area. I don't think I've ever met so many guys before who introduce themselves with pictures of their cocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 673

You deserved it 5 998

Today, just before a job interview, I coughed so violently that I lost my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 218

You deserved it 2 112

Today, while at a big speech and debate tournament, I corrected the judge's use of the word "podium" instead of lectern, because that's what my debate coach had told me was the correct usage. Well, she didn't take it too well and neither did my partner. Or my debate coach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 713

You deserved it 21 028

Today, I got a warning for not covering a shift, on my day off, for someone who didn't want to go to work. Apparently the next time I “do something wrong", I'll either get warned again or fired, whichever they feel like doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 007

You deserved it 1 037

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. After ringing the alarm bell consistantly for 10 minutes, I called someone I was staying with. She went down to the front desk and said that there were people stuck in the elevator. Front desk- "Is that what that is? I thought it was some kids messing around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 966

You deserved it 2 949