Allergies, Babysitter and Kids: Demon child

Demon child

By PeanutlyDisabled - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 794

You deserved it 3 393

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Same thing different taste

Hard no

By badsitter - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, my mother stopped speaking to me because I won’t let her babysit anymore. Her idea of babysitting is to sit my daughter alone with a tablet and a pile of sugary junk food for 7 hours straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 676

You deserved it 381

By justsomesummer - 26/01/2016 18:09 - United States - Beaverton

Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 913

You deserved it 1 668

SPIDERS!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while cleaning out my garage, I found a pregnant spider. I couldn't step on the spider without releasing the baby spiders, so I went inside to get a glass jar to trap it. While trying to relocate the spider, I accidentally stepped on it. I now have a bunch of baby spiders roaming around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 007

You deserved it 7 359

Quick learner

By BubbaCat - 24/04/2023 10:00

Today, I've been babysitting a 4 month-old for two days. This has made a great impression on my cat, because now I can't sit down without him jumping up and licking my face until I pat his butt and rock him like the baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 204

Judgemental

By ugly - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my sister told me not to come over anymore because her baby is scared of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 411

You deserved it 4 537

Self defence

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 117

You deserved it 2 483

Creeped out

By NotASpiderMan - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 958

You deserved it 6 218

Sticky boi

By emonsteadman - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Denton

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, I told a teenager to, "Walk please." He then threw his soda at me as he ran away. We aren't allowed off stand unless it's an emergency, so I baked in that soda for 30 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 641

You deserved it 3 439

No good deed…

By williebees - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Huntsville

Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 919

You deserved it 2 520

Devious

By rachel - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Germany - Köln

Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 009

You deserved it 3 906

martin4770 0

Friday 8 January 2010 15:53

#1 I wouldn't go back

GoddessDigi 12

Friday 8 January 2010 15:56

..And this is the reason my husband may interact with our child, but not actually TEACH her anything. He'd do this, I know he would. FYL, she's too smart.

Comments

martin4770 0

Friday 8 January 2010 15:53

#1 I wouldn't go back

Secret_Fire_King 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 5:09

Reminds me of the Simpson episode.. Principal Skinner is allergic to peanuts, and Bart uses it against him.. Just like the kid you were babysitting.. But then Skinner went through Bart's records and found out he was allergic to Shrimp.. And Skinner used that against him.. Simple.. Fire fire with fire.. XD

DarkPrince_fml 0

Friday 5 February 2010 0:45

I wouldve played with all her favorite toys

hellokittywhore 0

Friday 23 July 2010 1:26

I'm starting a new babysitting job in 30 mins I hope that little bastard doesn't do the same to me!!! I'm alergic to shellfish. @b (does that look like a shellfish? that's what I was going for.)

CitizenSnipz 0

Monday 2 August 2010 7:42

Should go up anyways. She'll attack you and man, her life is ******. Or take pictures and tell her folks. Spread word and that bitch is ******.

The_Disturbed 5

Friday 8 January 2010 15:53

Ouch. That's one harsh little kid. It's kinda surprising how evil they can be :P FYL

shadow_skater_fml 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 1:50

true

_Mazza_ 0

Friday 8 January 2010 15:54

Holy damn. That's awesome.

iCrazie 0

Friday 22 January 2010 1:29

That kid is so badass

fball913 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 3:18

damn straight

sharkwkrox 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 21:26

Agreed.

GoddessDigi 12

Friday 8 January 2010 15:56

..And this is the reason my husband may interact with our child, but not actually TEACH her anything. He'd do this, I know he would. FYL, she's too smart.

Expertfail 0

Friday 8 January 2010 15:58

That kid is awesome though..

Americunt 0

Friday 8 January 2010 22:08

Just like my username, except this chick is Fritch Bitch. OP, why are you allgeric to nuts? How are you going to lose that virginity of yours when you're always sick around nuts? Anyways, when this girl turns like 14 or so, tell all the boys she secretly masturbates to lesbian ****.

daydreamstar 7

Friday 8 January 2010 16:03

thats one twisted little girl... O.o and considering how you just met her, how could you deserve this. well, now tell her she has to clean it up or the evil peanut elves will snatch her away in the middle of the night and feed her to the troll broccoli monster!!! mwahaha! *cough* some kids just dont like strangers... :) and regarding the baseball bat, tell her that a giant bat will come for her unless she dosent hit you but im getting an awesome image of a 2 foot something kid in an army tank turrounded by a wall of peanut butter with a giant baseball bat and little three inch you, OP, just standing there with big eyes :)

daniisme 0

Saturday 10 April 2010 4:38

really? I have an image of a 2 foot kid in a random pretsy dress with a massive baseball bat hitting op continuosly while ops on the floor shrieking.... :D

flashback.miss 28

Saturday 17 April 2010 18:18

lol but 7 was superior, 137 :)

maurice1999 5

Wednesday 15 August 2012 7:50

That is pretty awesome!!!XD

CYNNER 0

Friday 8 January 2010 16:05

The hilarity! what an evil kid. taking advantage of your weaknesses. i would hate to see what she does to her future ex boyfriends

Flutist 3

Friday 8 January 2010 17:09

Their peanuts will be butter =)

Americunt 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 15:22

Crap, I was badded. Anyways OP, FYL, some kids are just born evil. I hope you told her parents.

Twinklestar 0

Friday 8 January 2010 16:07

If this is a real FML, don't you think you should have been supervising anything she was taking out of the pantry if you were meant to be babysitting her?

newsgit 0

Friday 8 January 2010 16:24

sometimes, nature calls.

Americunt 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 15:23

Stop being a ****. It's not like you're the one babysitting and you had peanut allergies.

Twinklestar 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 18:11

No, it's not like that, you're right, because I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have allowed a kid I was babysitting to cover the floor in something fatal to me that would have taken a fair amount of time to spread and threaten me.