Health: Crushed

Crushed

By Anonymous - 12/08/2012 23:08 - United States - Saddle Brook

Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 473

You deserved it 2 320

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Same thing different taste

By fuck right off - 04/04/2015 17:32 - United Kingdom - Coalville

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 533

You deserved it 3 025

By i hit a cyclist - 27/05/2013 11:19 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 081

You deserved it 25 625

By Tequila - 20/06/2011 16:12 - Netherlands

Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 585

You deserved it 3 213

By ramble ramble - 30/01/2014 20:55 - United States - Monroe

Today, I was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods in the nice cool weather, when a mountain biker came out of nowhere and tore past, barely missing me. As I counted my luck, another biker followed the first and crashed right into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 786

You deserved it 4 424

Sorry!

By My hip hurts - 23/01/2023 01:00

Today, I got hit by a car while going out for a jog. As I writhed on the floor in pain, I heard the driver say, “Sorry!” and the sound of tires squealing. He’d sped off. I didn’t get a chance to get his license plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 110

By Anonymous - 29/04/2016 17:59 - United States

Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 137

You deserved it 2 259

By Anonymous - 18/04/2013 21:02 - Bulgaria - Batanovci

Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 428

You deserved it 51 093

BIKES

By ihpgolj - 18/06/2009 05:31 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 876

You deserved it 43 974

By Al - 22/06/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 916

You deserved it 3 354

By wish his dad had worn one - 07/06/2014 21:16 - United States - Clinton

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 650

You deserved it 5 337

jetsown08 21

Monday 13 August 2012 5:10

Hey, at least he didn't threaten to sue afterwards.

TheDrifter 23

Monday 13 August 2012 5:11

Oh bollocks. There goes your dream of repopulating the earth in your image this afternoon.

Comments

happyday123_321 2

Monday 13 August 2012 6:31

#47.... Where do you come up with this stuff?

friedbunnies 9

Monday 13 August 2012 6:33

First: which is the "business end"? Second: a hundred million of your potential children? I hope your future baby mama has an olympic uterus.

LanaViolin 10

Monday 13 August 2012 6:49

SquishFish 15

Monday 13 August 2012 6:49

He probably thought you were some crazy guy writhing on the ground screaming. No wonder he left so quick

perdix 29

Monday 13 August 2012 7:06

#57, Wikipedia ;)

Thorran 2

Monday 13 August 2012 7:32

Birth control at it's finest

Metallica36176 16

Monday 13 August 2012 7:32

That man was a secret agent for the governments population control project. It seems to be highly effective.

acetheone 8

Monday 13 August 2012 7:36

nut injuries are the worst. fyl op.

xxjenn27xx 8

Monday 13 August 2012 7:48

That sucks! I would kick someone in the balls hard as i could if i saw that happen to anyone

skullofdarkness 18

Monday 13 August 2012 20:19

But who? The guy rode away, so the only guy left for you to kick would be OP. O.O

MelissaRoo2 6

Monday 13 August 2012 8:35

I hope he steps on a Lego soon.

Pandacupcakelove 26

Monday 13 August 2012 10:09

:O I wouldn't wish that for my worst enemy!

Keywords

Annoying Education Confused University AITA Sex Divorce Awkward Love Dreams Relatable Miscellaneous Embarrassing Racism Work Weird Pregnancy Kids Motherhood Cute Harassment Animals Family Poopoo peepee Surprise Food Health Roommate Texting My ex

The Top

Today, I went for an interview in the big city, with an expensive commute. Despite being an office-based management role requiring years of experience, they only offered minimum wage. After explaining it wouldn't be acceptable and tried to negotiate, they kicked me out and had the balls to call me "ungrateful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 99

Today, I watched as my girlfriend washed the last of the dishes with a dishcloth, then used that same dishcloth to wipe down the counters. I now understand why we always have bugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 207

The Top

Today, I went to buy my prom dress. I felt really good as I walked out of the dressing room, until someone walked out of the room next to me wearing the same dress, and looked better in it than I did. It was a man buying it for his drag show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 580

You deserved it 4 355

Today, I was sleeping next to my girlfriend and I turned over to the sound of her talking in her sleep. Because it was so cute, I was happy and I smiled, until she began to talk about "Troy" and "all the nasty things you can do to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 715

You deserved it 2 577

Today, sun was shining and I felt confident enough to go sunbathing at the beach. In only my bikini and towel, I laid out to get some sun. A while later, a little girl came up to me and said, "Aren't you embarrassed that you're so huge?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 517

You deserved it 11 261

Today, I learned that when I start University next month I will have to either pay $900 for an all-access semester-long parking pass, pay $200 for for a bus pass that takes an hour to get to campus, or pay $100 to park outside campus and walk 4 miles to and from class each day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 705

You deserved it 625

Today, I discovered my mom had sold all of our summer clothes over the winter on eBay because we're short on cash. However, I am allowed to cut off the sleeves of all my long sleeve shirts and the legs off my jeans to stay cool in the summer. Nothing's more attractive than looking trashy, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 969

You deserved it 3 226

Today my husband went to buy a car from some guy from Facebook. He ended up giving the guy $1000 upfront before receiving the title or bill of sale. So now, we have a car we can't use, we're completely broke now and the guy is ghosting us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 1 089

Crushed

Same thing different taste

Sorry!

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