Health: Crushed

Crushed

By Anonymous - 12/08/2012 23:08 - United States - Saddle Brook

Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 472

You deserved it 2 320

Back to School: Quiproquos and Notebooks
Laugh at back-to-school mishaps, with dazed students and overwhelmed teachers! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By fuck right off - 04/04/2015 17:32 - United Kingdom - Coalville

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 533

You deserved it 3 025

By i hit a cyclist - 27/05/2013 11:19 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 081

You deserved it 25 625

By Tequila - 20/06/2011 16:12 - Netherlands

Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 585

You deserved it 3 213

By ramble ramble - 30/01/2014 20:55 - United States - Monroe

Today, I was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods in the nice cool weather, when a mountain biker came out of nowhere and tore past, barely missing me. As I counted my luck, another biker followed the first and crashed right into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 786

You deserved it 4 424

Sorry!

By My hip hurts - 23/01/2023 01:00

Today, I got hit by a car while going out for a jog. As I writhed on the floor in pain, I heard the driver say, “Sorry!” and the sound of tires squealing. He’d sped off. I didn’t get a chance to get his license plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 110

By Anonymous - 29/04/2016 17:59 - United States

Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 137

You deserved it 2 259

By Anonymous - 18/04/2013 21:02 - Bulgaria - Batanovci

Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 428

You deserved it 51 093

BIKES

By ihpgolj - 18/06/2009 05:31 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 876

You deserved it 43 974

By Al - 22/06/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 916

You deserved it 3 354

By wish his dad had worn one - 07/06/2014 21:16 - United States - Clinton

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 650

You deserved it 5 337

jetsown08 21

Monday 13 August 2012 5:10

Hey, at least he didn't threaten to sue afterwards.

TheDrifter 23

Monday 13 August 2012 5:11

Oh bollocks. There goes your dream of repopulating the earth in your image this afternoon.

Comments

WhyCantIDoRight 5

Tuesday 14 August 2012 22:10

I would have ran up to his bike, Knocked it over and slashed the tires. But of course, That's just me.

tonyxc600 2

Wednesday 15 August 2012 8:08

If I were you, I would grab a rock from the ground, knock him off his bike, smash it into a twisted piece of metal right in from of his eyes, then throw the entire heap onto his head before walking off.

gregorygreg87 12

Friday 17 August 2012 14:18

Wow, that's ******.

emmalululover17 0

Sunday 19 August 2012 8:10

Wow what a ahole

yenidewi 11

Friday 2 November 2012 0:29

hahahahhahahahaa ... you are so funny ... :)

anxietydisorderz 6

Friday 2 November 2012 9:10

The guy on the bike is a total JERK! I would've helped you up and apologized! I hope you feel better =0)

xRezSynn 15

Saturday 11 May 2013 15:50

Welcome to Society, OP. Get used to it.

SunshineBoy_fml 16

Friday 29 January 2016 18:09

That's hilarious! Oops. Hope you get to have another million kids!

withered 30

Wednesday 6 July 2016 10:40

He did not "kill a hundred million" of "your potential children". It's not like you'd have them. Not to mention you "kill" them every time you **********. Don't see why you had to include that BS in the FML.