Work, Awkward and Health: Deez nuts

Deez nuts

By needtoscratch - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Duluth

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 387

You deserved it 1 845

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Same thing different taste

Rash decision

By FilthyIke - 21/08/2009 20:17 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 767

You deserved it 4 386

Suspicious

By StevieMe - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 782

You deserved it 99 806

Broke boy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 453

You deserved it 3 869

Right back!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 408

You deserved it 932

Caturday surprise!

By keeperstride - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 817

You deserved it 72 174

Who are you?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the crack in the door. I quickly looked away, but about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 202

You deserved it 3 002

Say it, don't spray it

By ... - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 925

You deserved it 2 301

Bad hair day

By Tony - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 329

You deserved it 2 642

Close encounters

By Pinkie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 287

You deserved it 2 717

Weird flex, but OK

By Anon - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after two days of not showering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 352

You deserved it 42 187

DooleyFTW 17

Wednesday 5 September 2012 19:00

Or you could just embrace a role as the office sleazebag! Slapping asses and making dirty comments all while handling your crotch! Could be fun?

rein 8

Wednesday 5 September 2012 18:59

That sucks balls.

Comments

captainburke 5

Wednesday 5 September 2012 20:37

Poor guy, throw some lotion on those bitches

RentaName 15

Wednesday 5 September 2012 20:40

Sorry itch not eczema.

lyskiss 10

Wednesday 5 September 2012 21:09

At least you have manners.

sweetmama88 6

Wednesday 5 September 2012 21:37

Time to go to the doctor, .

SoultheWolf 19

Wednesday 5 September 2012 21:50

You shouldn't be scratching your eczema anyways. Best if you put some any itch cream on and sit through it. Scratching it will just cause an infection and swelling, which I hightly doubt you'd want on your balls/dick area.

Dcm210 19

Wednesday 5 September 2012 21:52

hopefully it will go away,maybe use some anti-itch cream.

doodlecloud 26

Wednesday 5 September 2012 22:40

Though that does really suck, it's probably a good thing you're stuck in a public place - if you were somewhere you could scratch all you like your balls would end up raw and bloody. >.< So think of the office bit at least as a good thing?

InsanePPG 25

Wednesday 5 September 2012 23:12

At least you don't have maggots.

pipeline101 6

Thursday 6 September 2012 0:10

You poor bastard :( I can only imagine. I have it on my arms and it sucks bad enough but that......FYL man FYL

BlasianGirl 2

Thursday 6 September 2012 0:14

I have horrible eczema too, it really does suck. Try not to use steroid creams if you can help it because they do long term damage. Unrefined coconut oil works MIRACLES though, try it out!