Delusional

By Anonymous - 02/08/2012 00:56 - United Kingdom - March

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she never takes dumps. I told her that as long as she eats, it's a biological impossibility, but she seems to have genuinely deluded herself into thinking it's true, purely because she is a girl. FML
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Top comments

kimmi41509 10

What a moron. I know girls who fart, burp, and shit more than a man.

233 23
Yellow_Fish79 11

She's going to really hate motherhood someday.

163 4

Comments

angel948 9

Her plumbing must be backed up if she truly believes that.

3 0
pdp_fml 21

You have a stupid girlfriend that never takes a dump? You should dump her!

8 3
Kukironosuke 16

I don't know why everybody is saying stuff like "she must be stupid if she believes that", the gf obviously knows she does it, she just wants her bf to think she doesn't, or wants him to at least pretend she doesn't cause she wants him to see her as a perfect non-dirty in any way being who doesn't sweat or poop I think its more about a preferred state of mind, than an actual deliberate ignorance, shes trying to subtly tell him to not think of her in that way I think its similar to thinking about your parents having sex, at teenage years most people come to the realization their parents must have had sex to have had them, but some prefer to hold onto the idiology that their parents are not sexual beings at all and are only capable of parently positions, and not individual love making that has no part to do with making the child basically its choosing to believe something you know isn't true, because its a happier less weird thing than to think about the reality, and thats what she wanted in her relationship with her bf

12 3
Mademoiselle_fml 34

Thank you. No more comments should even be necessary now :p

2 4
chisty87 16

Now I have to say your an idiot too I totally agree with @jsfromga

3 3
Kukironosuke 16

If you read my message, you'd see that she doesn't believe that, you're just way misunderstanding the situation. She doesn't believe that she doesn't do it, she's just trying to get him to believe it, or pretend to believe it. You're only seeing what he's experiencing her telling him, this isn't her actual state of mind at all.

2 2
br0ccoli 14

150- This is why people get divorced. No one is perfect, so pretending to be is stupid. You don't have to all out say, "Hey honey, I just dropped a load that would put you to shame" or do walk-by farts to prove how normal you are. At least be honest and say that "yes, I poop." End of story. Making stupid, completely biologically impossible claims will just make him think more about her pooping, which the opposite of her goal. Not only that, but now he's probably thinking she will give their future children weaker intelligence genes.

4 2
Kukironosuke 16

its not immature to pretend pooping doesn't exist, after you learn to be potty trained going to the bathroom should be a personal matter and nobody else should ever have to hear about it or think about it or discuss it, he probably started the conversation by trying to talk about her pooping which resulted in her having to take that stance its immature to talk about people pooping at all, unless its a serious matter, its not a casual subject you should just talk to people about, unless theres a problem, or you need more toilet paper delivered to the bathroom while your in it or something like that, everything that goes on around toilets should be forgotten about and not discussed, its not important, interesting, or funny to talk about that stuff, its just inapropriate, nobody should be ashamed to poop but neither should anybody ever talk about it unless theres relevence to something important

1 5
pexy_fml 16

Maybe she thinks that her shit is considered her periods or something

2 3
akiahara 14

am I the only one who thinks that's she's clearly not serious, just doesn't want to discuss her poo with her boyfriend? obviously she knows she poops. or she's an alien. the latter would be much more interesting.

11 3
kikikimsicles 0

Of course she doesn't. We are women. We go to the toilet and do our business, not 'take a dump' and break wind, not 'fart'. But if she doesn't believe she does it I hope to god she doesn't get constipated. Coz if it can't come out the bottom end it comes out the top end.

2 9
countrygirl626 16

Why must girls phrase it in a "nice way"? Really? It is the same thing, even if you try to dress it up in ribbons and glitter. Shit is shit. Farts are farts. Burps are burps. Damn.

2 2
tab11 2

Lol! my ex-supervisor said the same thing! We couldn't tell her she was full of it..... We all had to say wow, really!!! Otherwise she would be a evil bitch for the next month to whoever went against her!

1 2
cleio81 5

Girls are pressured into being that perfect all the time. I feel for you but I worry about her. :(

2 4
winfieldALJD 6

Does she have a very old story book to prove it?

2 1
sgress 4

Dear god and jesus man you don't know girls don't poop it just doesn't happen

3 3