Demon child

By PeanutlyDisabled - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 794
You deserved it 3 393
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Top comments

GoddessDigi 12

..And this is the reason my husband may interact with our child, but not actually TEACH her anything. He'd do this, I know he would. FYL, she's too smart.

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Comments

ToxicMoo33 18

Nope. I'd call it quits.

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247pacient 11

I hope I raise a child this ingenious one day :')

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LyricaSilvan 29

Unless you planned on licking the stairs, (or really believe a little kid has the balls to hit you in the mouth with a bat,) you really didn't need to worry about it...Pretty sure most food allergies require you to actually EAT the food in question, or at least get it in your body somehow.

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Thasnoxi 8

This kid will be a better strategist than Napoleon some day.

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GummyJellyfish 12

Hahahahah i would LOVE to have a child like that omg!! How adorable. I mean sucks for you OP FYL but deng that is the curest little brat ever

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IHaveThePower 16

If you can touch peanut butter safely, have her help clean it up and send her to time-out. If not, call the parents.

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IHaveThePower 16

Well, you could try bribing her to clean it up with a cookie...but honestly, you could just as well call the parents and explain you didn't actually sign on to babysit the spawn of Satan, and that warrants hazard pay. Your call.

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Hangryko 29

And that's when I would have went outside with my stuff, called the cops to supervise her at the station, have them contact her parents, and leave after ensuring they arrive. Why put your life at risk in that situation?

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