Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Dirty talk

Dirty talk

By Anonymous - 22/07/2010 05:52 - United States

Today, while having sex for our first time, my boyfriend decided to test out a theory he heard about, that conversation during sex makes it more enjoyable. His way of doing it? He looked me straight in the eye and asked, "How 'bout them Brewers?" We're from Wisconsin. That's our local sports team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 071

You deserved it 5 279

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Same thing different taste

Gamer watch

By kristajoy2001 - 01/09/2019 00:02

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. All of the sudden, he whispered in my ear, "Do you want to hear a Minecraft joke?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 841

You deserved it 343

By Undefined - 01/01/2009 12:09 - France

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. I look him straight in the eye and ask him: "What's the first thing you think about when you look at me?". His answer: "Can I finish my steak?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 330

You deserved it 8 633

Man City

By EpicBunBun - 10/05/2017 18:00

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, I thought he went to change the music on his phone. He'd actually stopped mid-action just to check sports scores. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 269

You deserved it 719

By Djcc - 21/02/2012 18:03 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 983

You deserved it 7 113

By Seule - 29/06/2016 04:07 - Switzerland - Pully

Today, on a movie date with my boyfriend, it took me a while to understand why he was leaning on his elbow during the entire thing. He had an earpiece cupped in his hand and was listening to a soccer match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 220

You deserved it 1 704

Romance ain't dead

By awkwardbf - 09/09/2009 01:26 - United States

Today, I was sitting on my boyfriend's lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said, "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 990

You deserved it 4 892

Anticlimactic

By JC12345 - 18/03/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked, "How was it?" he says, "It was terrible", to which I said, "The food was that bad?" He replies, "No, the sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 987

You deserved it 13 832

Baller move

By notafan - 07/08/2019 00:01 - United States

Today, I was at a baseball game. This kid in front of me had binoculars and was constantly shouting. Trying to amuse the girl next to me, I leaned over and said, "That kid probably has wet dreams about baseball." She got up and said to the kid, "Come on honey, we're leaving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 3 542

Sexy talk

By Anonymous - 09/01/2010 03:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 848

You deserved it 6 002

By missingcharlie - 17/08/2009 02:45 - United States

Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided to tell me that the bowling alley had a new air hockey table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 150

You deserved it 5 700

bmadd 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 12:08

don't act like you didn't enjoy it

nateball 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 13:31

Yeah, that sounds like a Wisconsin person. he should have been doing you in the ass and said how about them Packers. now then it wood have made sense.

Comments

mrmaks18 7

Thursday 22 July 2010 14:40

wrong ball game but i might have some ideas of my own 

yagurlteeteexoxo 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 14:55

well op he was just trying. next time you guys will know from heads up Bo more talking during sex.

perdix 29

Thursday 22 July 2010 15:08

Good thing he didn't talk about brats, beer and cheese curds -- you both would have come forcefully too quickly, and have to get dressed and consume massive quantities of those awesome Wisconsin delicacies! Soon, you two will be too fat and drunk to have sex anymore.

adamreds33 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 15:21

lmao I would do the same thing!

piratebaseballer 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 15:37

Hey don't hate on the brewcrew. Even if they're only in 4th place.

xXLenaXx 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 15:45

Better than the "so is it hurting? are you coming? why are you moaning, what does that mean, am I hurting you? wow am I coming? I think I might be coming" conversations... Those are considerably less smooth than discussing sport. :P

joeinthedark 18

Thursday 22 July 2010 15:53

Don't forget the famous 'does this feel good? How about this?' Or 'Am I/Are you in yet?'

xXLenaXx 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 16:40

Oh yeah, how could I forget. Basically a running commentary of what is happening.

smokergirl420 0

Friday 23 July 2010 6:53

Agreed, those do get old after a while, but then again it's better than my bf who one day got the idea to yell out "oh, my dick feels like corn!" That was a mood killer.

xXLenaXx 0

Friday 23 July 2010 17:43

Hahahaha that is an absolute win! Not at the time I guess, haha. Or there's your boyfriend thinking "this feels good" actually translates to "I dare you to jump off me, open the curtains and start doing the meet spin for all to see from the street at night". Yah. That's why I love him though. :D

smokergirl420 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 4:43

My favorite thing he ever did was when he waiting for us to just about start and the looked at me and said "Baby... ARE YOU READY!!" in some weird announcer voice.