Instead of making him feel bad about himself, why don't you practice and make him better? We aren't born knowing how to please our significant other. Give him constructive criticism and help him become a better partner. I'm sure that'd be much more appreciated then posting how bad he was on FML.

Too bad girls don't think like that lol

Can we get a follow up on what made it so horrible? Because there are ways to make sex better.

Sometimes fantasy is better than reality! Sorry to hear that OP!

Hey atleast he doesnt like putting serial killers mask on while you say there name

Aw, I personally thought it was a hilarious way to put it.

#4, come up with a better slang term for female masturbation and then I might agree with you. I thought it was great.

" Tiddle the skittle "

Taco DJing

Same. Sounds painful.

Polishing the pearl

Rubbin' the nubbin'.

I thought numbin was what Chandlers third nipple was called

close, it was nubbin.

Perform well? Like a jackhammer or some other industrial equipment? Expectations precede and determine that performance. If you make them too specific and too high, there won't be a real fit; the boy may be the best fish in the sea but if she's looking for a bird or some other creature he can't do any more than be him. And stellar sex is indeed about communication, and it's a two way street. She seems too preoccupied with touching herself to him than actually finding out about who he is, what he wants and how she fits with him. To be honest, You can't be having all that stellar sex if you're at home messing with your down stairs scroll wheel all the time.

Well OP was comparing it to sex she's had in the past (thus "worse sex she's ever had") so I guess it couldn't have been THAT unrealistic (as in kitten-rescuing football player) if other real-life men met the bill. But I agree with you that if it was that important to her, she'd take the time to get to know him a bit more and communicate to make things better for both of them. Her tone instead seems very condescending, and she obviously is not the type to help build people up...I feel bad for the dude. She gets no sympathy from me.

Seriously? Yes. You can be having stellar sex and still enjoy and take part in pleasuring yourself. Just like men, women can enjoy sex and "bean-flicking" as two separate and different kinds of experienced. And by "perform" I mean his part in sex. Hell, women "perform" as well. Perhaps the verb choice isn't to your liking but it's meant to mean their parts in sex. And nothing in this FML suggests she had unrealistic expectations.