Embarrassing, Music and Health: Don't accept every dare

Don't accept every dare

By wheezy - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get a harmonica removed from my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 200

You deserved it 28 802

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Top comments

alstbv12 13

Tuesday 6 September 2011 8:30

Sorry to hear...that must blow.

Doortje 29

Tuesday 6 September 2011 8:31

Wtf were you doing with it? Practicing your deepthroating skills?

Comments

missababgaga 19

Wednesday 14 March 2012 5:12

I think your doing it wrong.......

extremetamato 2

Monday 16 July 2012 8:07

I've done that and took it out. It's so scary.

acetheone 8

Tuesday 16 October 2012 6:43

talk about blues.

Easybeats 10

Thursday 20 June 2013 1:06

Hahahahaa omg xD

R5luver 5

Tuesday 30 July 2013 17:12

How do you even manage to do that???!!!!

quinn1184 25

Monday 2 September 2013 8:29

Follow up?

Trevan13 7

Tuesday 15 April 2014 8:25

... I have no words.

CaptainRR 20

Tuesday 9 September 2014 0:50

There must be a really crazy story behind this

zach205 24

Tuesday 23 September 2014 0:17

I wanna here the full story for this

yeahokay7 20

Friday 10 April 2015 18:57

Too little information to make a good opinion

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 623

You deserved it 42 687

Today, yet again I had to lie to a date about what I do for a living, because every time I tell someone the truth, that I work in private equity, they have some choice words about "people like me ruining things" and "ruining the housing prices." I feel like an evil James Bond or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 513

The Top

Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 608

You deserved it 5 544

Today, in France, a "Vaccine Pass" is needed to do most things. Some family members came to visit, but as they aren't vaccinated they usually just stay home. They told us that we're dangerous, because we carry "millions of viruses" from the vaccine, and it will be our fault if they get Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 215

Today, I got woken up by a text from an unknown number at 3 am saying, "haha I found your number." I ignored it and tried to go back to sleep. After hours of trying to fall asleep, my drowsiness was disturbed by another text from the same person saying, "Sorry, wrong number." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 647

You deserved it 4 229

Today, I was at a party. A friend and I went to the bathroom together. She finished, I started to go, realising I need to shit. She was still in the room. People began to knock. My brain told me to snap the shit in half… with my hand. I grabbed the toilet paper with said hand, leaving the bathroom covered in shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 1 186

Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 280

You deserved it 5 121

Today, at work, my colleague started to look for a new job. For me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 982

You deserved it 723