Poopoo peepee, Gross and Health: Downhill

Downhill

By loveinanelevator - 13/02/2012 12:03

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 694

You deserved it 2 694

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Same thing different taste

Bad sandwich, bad week

By Anonymous - 07/09/2019 12:02 - Korea Republic of

Today, I went to the doctor's. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 794

You deserved it 112

Healthy lifestyle tips

By middleagednurse - 04/10/2017 23:37

Today, I spent 5 hours in the emergency room for what I thought was heavy bloody diarrhea. After having various implements and doctors' fingers shoved up my ass, it turns out I was only shitting out the family-sized bag of red spicy cheese curls I had eaten for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 583

You deserved it 4 122

Nice.

By poururheartout - 27/07/2018 20:30

Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 279

You deserved it 398

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 449

You deserved it 11 656

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 18/05/2022 16:00 - South Africa

Today, I had bad diarrhea. I went to the toilet seven times while my cousins came to spend time with me. I spent more time in the toilet than I did with them. Once they'd left, I went to the toilet for what would be the eighth time in a couple of hours. I now can no longer feel my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 114

By fulloshit - 28/11/2010 02:17 - United States

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 070

You deserved it 4 597

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 12:00 - United States - Ardmore

Today, I have a bad case of diarrhea. The worst part isn’t even sharting in bed while sleeping naked. It’s the severe asshole pain from having to wipe my ass twenty times in twelve hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 156

Bunged up

By P DarklyKira - 18/05/2020 23:00

Today, after weeks of quarantine, I can finally go to the hospital to get my haemorrhoid surgery, which was confirmed. I have a big internal one. I didn't not consult with the same doctor as before, but he didn't even do a check up inside and told me, "You have nothing, go home." I can't shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 696

You deserved it 185

Leaked

By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 746

You deserved it 893

By monkeywrench - 30/08/2015 11:29 - Sweden

Today, I was hit by acute food poisoning while attending a colleague's birthday party at his home. The toilet had a door that wouldn't close all the way, there were only three sheets of toilet paper left, and I had to walk home through town, in a dress, with my soiled underwear in a plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 973

You deserved it 1 794

haloofduty27 12

Monday 13 February 2012 15:55

Sorry man, hope you feel better soon.

Spade606 6

Monday 13 February 2012 15:56

Looks like your not doing anal anytime soon

Comments

cajunjynx 0

Monday 13 February 2012 16:43

This is truly a great fml. Sorry it happened, but damn that is funny.

Nickramos 0

Monday 13 February 2012 16:45

Always check the bread, meat, cheese, mayo, and mustard dates before making a sandwhich . Fell better soon.

kickyc 14

Monday 13 February 2012 22:15

u no like vegeterian food? :( check the date of ur.... food? TUM TUM TUUUUUM Capt obvious to your service

THE_A_TEEN 27

Monday 13 February 2012 16:49

You shouldn't have eaten that sub sandwich from the back of the fridge. Now you're not going to go to Duff Gardens because of this.

ScarletBloom 14

Monday 13 February 2012 16:52

And subsequently cause constipation.

soupisyummy 13

Monday 13 February 2012 16:59

Ouch >_< I'd hate to have an infected butthole. That would definitely ruin my day. FYL

dabomb1463 0

Monday 13 February 2012 17:03

That's crappy ( no pun intended )

KatieKupcake4195 9

Monday 13 February 2012 17:06

Ugh. I'm sorry man :( I got food poisoning in 5th grade from lunch at school. It was terrible. I hope you feel better soon

Ins_Knie 2

Monday 13 February 2012 17:16

If 'sandwich' refers to food, your life sucks. If it refers to sex, YDI.

THE_A_TEEN 27

Monday 13 February 2012 17:26

Where do you live where the sandwich is used as a term for sex?

thiscrazything 1

Monday 13 February 2012 18:31

Or where sex leads to food poisoning?

Dracoboxer357 35

Monday 13 February 2012 19:28

64- To Sandwich someone, where the girl is the meat in the middle of two guys....or whatever genders. 75- That would be the bad part of YouTube again, go look for yourself. Ick. :p

THE_A_TEEN 27

Monday 13 February 2012 20:50

I've been to the wierd side of youtube, there's some really good stuff there. ...and disgusting stuff there...

ExToRtiOn 0

Monday 13 February 2012 17:37

That's what happens when you say "bitch make me a sandwich"

loserman67 35

Monday 13 February 2012 17:38

That must have been one bad ass sandwich (pun intended) Word of advice: When the bread is greener than the lettuce in the sandwich, it's usually best to stay away from said sandwich and eat something else. Hope you feel better soon!