Health, Painful and Miscellaneous: Drained

Drained

By KiwiBlam - 07/02/2010 09:19 - New Zealand

Today, I was racing some mates to the beach and I decided to take a short-cut by jumping over a low wall. I didn't realise the wall was to stop people falling into the stormwater drain. Which is 3 metres deep. And has razor-sharp oysters growing at the bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 388

You deserved it 40 021

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/07/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, I went swimming with this guy I like at dammed river. While we were jumping off the dam, I decided to try to impress him by doing a front flip. I didn't jump far enough off, so when I went to flip, my face skidded down the concrete wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 865

You deserved it 44 893

By onebadwave - 21/08/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I thought it would be a smart idea to walk out on the pier while the waves were 6 feet tall. I was having fun getting "splashed" by the waves crashing over until one wave knocked me over and dragged me 20 feet across the hard concrete pier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 638

You deserved it 46 515

Misjudged

By VelociTheRaptor - 23/05/2017 02:00

Today, I was leaving work after a storm. They're building some new offices outside, so I had to walk on an uneven path near the construction zone. I came to a big puddle and tried to jump across to what I thought was a piece of asphalt. It was mud. I slipped and fell backwards into the puddle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 237

You deserved it 784

By Lawrence - 06/08/2009 04:55 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike to the local grocery store to pick up some supplies for dinner. On the way down, traveling down a hill, I hit a drain with no lid. I went to grab hold of the nearest object to soften my fall. That nearest object was a barbed wire fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 684

You deserved it 3 740

By NotDrunk - 11/09/2012 06:47 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 755

You deserved it 2 603

By Username - 05/06/2019 20:00

Today, at the beach, I swam pretty far out into the ocean. I ended up getting pummelled by the waves and got a painful cramp in my leg. The whole beach watched me flail and scream, while my friends rolled their eyes as they dragged me out of the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 448

You deserved it 930

Crabby

By AkaiKitsune - 29/06/2017 04:00

Today, I went to explore a beach that was rumoured to have big crabs on it instead of the usual small tide pool crabs. I found out that the rumours were true went I went to flip over a rock, which was in fact not a rock. I now have to explain to a doctor how I ended up needing stitches again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 954

You deserved it 1 293

By Anonymous - 05/09/2009 07:22 - United States

Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 111

You deserved it 18 089

By Stingraybeemonster - 07/04/2016 08:51 - Thailand

Today, I was snorkeling when a stingray suddenly appeared when I thought I was just looking at sand. It startled me, so my heel made contact with a sea urchin so that then startled me, and my other foot hit another one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 425

You deserved it 2 301

By but why - 21/08/2018 23:30

Today, when it started raining, I remembered that I'd left my kitchen windows open. I hurried to close them, but slipped in a huge puddle and slid into the wall, making a huge hole in it with my knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 545

You deserved it 375

greg1234567890_fml 2

Monday 8 February 2010 1:30

watch where ur jumping dumbass. actually dont cuz fmls like this are funny!

iplaylax 0

Monday 8 February 2010 1:45

wasn't there a sign?

Comments

melmcr 0

Monday 8 February 2010 1:27

omg ydi for trying to cheat

dpsceo 0

Monday 8 February 2010 3:51

u seriously deserved it

Extacy23 0

Monday 8 February 2010 5:10

razor sharp oysters goin up ur bumhole

lolpwntdumass 0

Monday 8 February 2010 6:00

lol that sucks.

silentfog 0

Monday 8 February 2010 14:37

he's not some midget whose ass is 1.5 feet off the ground

Stalker191 0

Monday 8 February 2010 14:44

He said meters dumbass. That would be around 9 feet :P

BoarderBoy15 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 2:06

ydi for saying mates

airforce987 20

Monday 1 March 2010 17:01

OP lives in New Zealand. they say mates there, idiot

twistman27 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 6:51

41 your the dumbass, if it was 3 yards maybe

Alexitis1 3

Thursday 13 May 2010 3:15

#68 wins!

IchBeinEinTier 0

Friday 11 June 2010 21:20

meter and yard sticks are about the same length....

nateb1tch 1

Monday 25 April 2011 7:37

69 you do know a meter is like 3 inches longer then a yard, right?

abc123cimsmart 3

Sunday 4 September 2011 7:38

I just to know if he still won!

cii_fml 3

Wednesday 18 September 2013 1:44

Meters is smaller than feet

greg1234567890_fml 2

Monday 8 February 2010 1:30

watch where ur jumping dumbass. actually dont cuz fmls like this are funny!

Palirose 22

Tuesday 11 October 2011 1:40

I'm surprised he didn't break anything.

azreal_13 0

Monday 8 February 2010 1:36

lol your friends must have gotten a good laugh

iplaylax 0

Monday 8 February 2010 1:45

wasn't there a sign?

fairies633 8

Monday 8 February 2010 1:47

that's gross

tom3398 0

Friday 7 January 2011 13:13

how is tht gross?

AngryNinja 1

Monday 8 February 2010 2:08

ahaha. poor op. hope you only needed stitches and not a cast.

harryman04 0

Monday 8 February 2010 2:46

what does op stand for? original person official person official poster original poster?! what is it?!

Shokz992 0

Monday 8 February 2010 2:52

Well, at least you got it right the fourth time, eh?

rob7863 0

Monday 8 February 2010 2:52

original poster

mrmystery96 0

Monday 8 February 2010 5:27

I always thought it meant objective person. of course now I know objective people are women. or men if your a woman.

harryman04 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 6:30

ok thanks.

cumberbunny 17

Wednesday 28 May 2014 21:41

I used to think OP meant Ordinary Person. I don't even know.

Aurigae 0

Monday 8 February 2010 2:08

Ow...I feel for you. Oyster shells are evil.

baybe143 0

Monday 8 February 2010 2:16

How'd you survive? -_

talkman12 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 3:21

I agree how did he?

atomicbaboon 0

Monday 25 April 2011 8:37

he didn't.

Nomnomshark 3

Friday 13 May 2011 5:19

it's only nine feet

Cartera 10

Saturday 18 February 2012 22:41

tell you what, you jump nine feet into a storm drain full of oysters than you tell us what it's like.

hj5 0

Monday 8 February 2010 3:22

this would be why you don't jump over walls that you can't see what is on the other side. lesson learned.

Facerockker 0

Monday 8 February 2010 3:47

Dumbass.

majorZERO 0

Monday 8 February 2010 6:35

well played sir

Keywords

Cars Transportation Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Dentist Shopping My ex Love Cats Animals Clothes Job interview Work Miscellaneous Weird Vacation Holidays Family Parents AITA Am I overreacting? Annoying Funerals Relatable Harassment Engagement Ironic Food Technology

The Top

Today, I found a picture on my phone of me and my best friend that I didn't take. Turns out my dad did, from behind, and it got onto my Google photo backup, which means that he was logged in to my Gmail from his phone when he did it. And my family wonders why I don't trust them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 124

Today, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend. I got tired so I thought it would be cute to fall asleep on him. He woke me up and said, "You got me wet." Thinking it was a joke, I said smoothly, "That's what she said!" He replied "No, really." I looked down, I'd drooled all over his shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 314

You deserved it 40 787

The Top

Today, as I'd been going to a gym with my wife as a guest on her account, I joined as a regular member. However, before I had time to go under my own membership, the gym closed down due to the coronavirus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 535

You deserved it 250

Today, I realised my girlfriend is the perfect woman for most men. She only ever talks to me in the intermissions on Modern Warfare 2; shame it's not me playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 662

You deserved it 6 360

Today, I can't sit down for a book or some TV without my wife coming up and moaning at me to "get a hobby, get out of the house once in a while, you never do anything anymore." I have a healthy, balanced social life, but maybe I want to relax in my own house for once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 77

Today, I listened to my best friend complain, again, about the two guys she's seeing, and how she doesn't know which one to choose, because they're both perfect. Meanwhile, I'm cleaning up my dog's loose stools, haven't had a date in over three years, and I'm also sharing a room with the very same best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 316

You deserved it 2 004

Today, I was reading a newspaper at a bus stop when a creepy guy rested his chin on my shoulder and said, "I miss the good old days, when people would read newspapers together and it wasn't classed as weird." He then walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 678

You deserved it 3 794

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 118

You deserved it 62 435

Drained

Same thing different taste

Misjudged

Crabby

Top comments

Comments