Gross and Health: Dude, gross! - FML

Dude, gross!

By utensils123 - 13/12/2024 18:00 - Australia

Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 351

You deserved it 2 319

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Random Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 01:24 - United States

Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 465

You deserved it 4 677

By mr.palendrome - 06/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 438

You deserved it 28 105

Weird dude of the day

By Anonymous - 30/06/2017 02:00

Today, I caught my 29 year-old brother-in-law scratching his poison ivy with a handful of forks before putting them back in the drawer. I called him on it and he huffed, "You've never said anything before." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 914

You deserved it 367

By Waitingtomoveout - 12/01/2017 17:09

Today, I had to remove my brother's pubic hairs from the bathtub before bathing my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 414

You deserved it 783

By oh for f*cks sake - 20/03/2017 12:00 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 825

You deserved it 414

By who wants spaghetti - 17/12/2015 03:42 - United States - Oconomowoc

Today, during a family dinner, I witnessed my younger brother casually slip his hand down the back of his pants, take it out, sniff each finger individually, before stirring his hand in his spaghetti and continue to eat normally. I was the only one who saw this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 884

You deserved it 1 555

By smells like ass - 29/12/2016 03:05

Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 050

You deserved it 418

Sharing is caring

By Eddie - 07/03/2021 23:00

Today, I caught my sister using my shaver to trim her pubic hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 128

By Picky - 06/07/2017 14:58

Today, I woke up to my younger brother picking his nose with my fingers. His explanation? "You were sleeping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 070

You deserved it 372

Classy.

By klifestyle2012 - 12/11/2017 19:00

Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 141

You deserved it 337

Next

Top comments

blaaaaakely 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 12:02

crabs for dinner

thrice324 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 12:03

Use his toothbrush as a *****.

Comments

terran0 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 1:57

awww poor spoon!! joking ok joking

phuckURlife 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 2:57

that is hilarious

moofussaaa 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 1:13

number #82 bahaha what type of brother does that?! if my brother did that id go up to him and punch him in the face and make him buy new utensils, thats so disgusting, hopefully he doenst do that again

_lifeblows 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 10:07

eek , shove a utensil up his ass what a **** head .

FrenchyBuddy 1

Friday 19 February 2010 13:52

enjoy your meal ! maybe it add some taste... FYL

sexychick_14 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 6:21

that is sick. he needs to GET A LIFE!!

screwlife23 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 3:32

I'd shove a spoon up his ass but he'd probably like that wouldn't he? lmao I'm sorry your bro is nasty.

GreekGoddessGirl 0

Saturday 22 May 2010 1:31

That's sick!

wetesek 0

Saturday 2 October 2010 23:03

hope he deosnt use knives.

lickerassholes 0

Wednesday 16 March 2011 8:19

he was the balls to do that

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The Top

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number, "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue." He told me, "Yeah, sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away, I read his note, which read: "911". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 304

You deserved it 50 349

Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggested a game where we put our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation died out, and fearful of having an awkward silence, I checked my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 422

You deserved it 55 330

The Top

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 596

You deserved it 2 657

Today, I returned to work after two weeks of vacation without a working phone. While I was gone, a beloved former colleague died, two Court hearings got postponed because nobody could find the proof the documents were sent to the other party, and half the office went on vacation. Oh yeah, and my grandma died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 140

Today, I received a chain-mail text that vividly described what "Tanya" would do to me in my sleep if I didn't forward it on. I'm so paranoid that I did just that. I also realized that accidentally forwarding such things to your boss can get you fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 969

You deserved it 51 791

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 361

You deserved it 10 405

Today, it's been week since I won a Hackathon at work, while working from home, yay! Winners get trophies, which is cool. I asked my coworker who won if he got a trophy and another coworker decided to chime in with, "Only winners get the trophies." I won, but I just didn't get a trophy. "Oh, guess they ran out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 96

Today, my girlfriend dyed her hair from blonde to brunette. An hour later, she found one of her blonde hairs on my pillow, and accused me of cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 455

You deserved it 2 069