Gross and Health: Dude, gross! - FML

Dude, gross!

By utensils123 - 13/12/2024 18:00 - Australia

Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 351

You deserved it 2 319

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 01:24 - United States

Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 465

You deserved it 4 677

By mr.palendrome - 06/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 438

You deserved it 28 105

Weird dude of the day

By Anonymous - 30/06/2017 02:00

Today, I caught my 29 year-old brother-in-law scratching his poison ivy with a handful of forks before putting them back in the drawer. I called him on it and he huffed, "You've never said anything before." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 914

You deserved it 367

By Waitingtomoveout - 12/01/2017 17:09

Today, I had to remove my brother's pubic hairs from the bathtub before bathing my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 414

You deserved it 783

By oh for f*cks sake - 20/03/2017 12:00 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 825

You deserved it 414

By who wants spaghetti - 17/12/2015 03:42 - United States - Oconomowoc

Today, during a family dinner, I witnessed my younger brother casually slip his hand down the back of his pants, take it out, sniff each finger individually, before stirring his hand in his spaghetti and continue to eat normally. I was the only one who saw this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 884

You deserved it 1 555

By smells like ass - 29/12/2016 03:05

Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 050

You deserved it 418

Sharing is caring

By Eddie - 07/03/2021 23:00

Today, I caught my sister using my shaver to trim her pubic hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 128

By Picky - 06/07/2017 14:58

Today, I woke up to my younger brother picking his nose with my fingers. His explanation? "You were sleeping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 070

You deserved it 372

Classy.

By klifestyle2012 - 12/11/2017 19:00

Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 141

You deserved it 337

Next

Top comments

blaaaaakely 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 12:02

crabs for dinner

thrice324 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 12:03

Use his toothbrush as a *****.

Comments

TheEntertainer89 1

Tuesday 9 February 2010 17:11

Hey guys, don't knock it til you try it. Times are hard and people are having to cut back. Everything has more than one purpose nowadays. You see a cheese grater, he may see an exfoliator. You see a spatula, he sees a back scratcher. I personally think we should all applaud this young man's ability to be creative and think outside the box. Congrat's on having a genius for a brother.

Xxdinoponyxx 5

Monday 3 March 2014 19:44

Oh mah gawd XD

pjfromok 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 17:15

...what else are they used for?!!? Hey if it works thats all I am saying...

Danielt104 6

Tuesday 9 February 2010 18:29

WTF!!!!!

MelMel1997 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 18:40

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! YOU POOR BASTARD!!!!

seanchai 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 18:55

Screw crabs, that poor kid must have lobsters...

purplemnm 9

Tuesday 9 February 2010 19:20

does your father, by any chance, clip his toenails with the kitchen scissors?

logand 3

Tuesday 9 February 2010 20:01

use his toothbrush to clean the loo

glasgowsmile 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 20:18

omg that's disgusting

roadie42 21

Tuesday 9 February 2010 21:36

Nom nom nom. STDs are delicious.

pandabear90 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 22:08

what a disgusting cracker

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The Top

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 132

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 487

You deserved it 38 932

The Top

Today, during a small argument over clothes of all things, I totally lost my temper and broke up with my boyfriend. He is refusing to take me back and I’m now screwed as his wage paid about 60% of our joint bills. I may lose my flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 2 401

Today, I had a lady come up to me in a store just to tell me how bad my acne was and what remedies I should use. I got so embarrassed, all I could say was, "OK" and, "Thank you" until she left me alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 566

You deserved it 1 467

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 728

You deserved it 4 401

Today, a middle-aged customer tried to pay for a $2 ice cream bar with a credit card. It was declined, so he made me swipe it again. Declined. "Quit touching the metal strip," he scowled. I held the outer edge of it and swiped. Declined. He then bitched me out as his mother paid for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 486

You deserved it 3 301

Today, I took a video of a fellow employee doing nothing but watching YouTube videos at work. When I showed the video to my boss, hoping he'd be reprimanded, I got fired for operating video equipment on company grounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 566

You deserved it 38 282

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 494

You deserved it 18 442