Health: Weird dude of the day

Weird dude of the day

By Anonymous - 30/06/2017 02:00

Today, I caught my 29 year-old brother-in-law scratching his poison ivy with a handful of forks before putting them back in the drawer. I called him on it and he huffed, "You've never said anything before." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 914

You deserved it 366

Black Friday: Sales and crazy situations
Shopping stories where discounts aren't the only surprises! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By utensils123 - 09/02/2010 06:40 - Australia

Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 350

You deserved it 2 319

By ReallyRyan? - 01/09/2018 06:00

Today, my younger brother sat on some poison ivy. He didn't have any symptoms because he's pretty much immune to it. Also today, my boyfriend had to run to the ER because he got poison ivy on his genitalia. I knew they spent way too much time together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 247

You deserved it 347

By Anonymous - 12/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband caught me scratching my armpit with his beard brush. Just last week I swore that I never touch it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 452

You deserved it 12 342

By Picky - 06/07/2017 14:58

Today, I woke up to my younger brother picking his nose with my fingers. His explanation? "You were sleeping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 069

You deserved it 372

By Anonymous - 06/09/2015 06:59 - United States - Wittenberg

Today, my older brother offered me a cigarette. I took it and barely took a drag before he socked me in the arm and lectured me for taking the offer. He's an alcoholic, and smokes daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 171

You deserved it 9 607

By who wants spaghetti - 17/12/2015 03:42 - United States - Oconomowoc

Today, during a family dinner, I witnessed my younger brother casually slip his hand down the back of his pants, take it out, sniff each finger individually, before stirring his hand in his spaghetti and continue to eat normally. I was the only one who saw this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 884

You deserved it 1 555

By mr.palendrome - 06/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 436

You deserved it 28 103

By Torbey - 14/09/2016 03:49 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my younger brother complained yet again of soreness in his wrist. Frustrated with his constant whining, my mother turned to him and snapped, 'Well, what have you been using it for all this time then!?' The awkward silence of realisation for them both won't go away anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 566

You deserved it 1 285

By Lady Douche of Asscrackington - 10/10/2013 20:00 - United States - Watertown

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 556

You deserved it 3 585

By badmom - 25/02/2012 11:25 - Ireland

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 106

You deserved it 8 667

holly_fly 34

Friday 30 June 2017 2:01

That's so nasty. I'd wash every fork from now on... better yet, buy new and keep them in a safe place. XD

Glowworm56 26

Friday 30 June 2017 3:46

Well, now you definitely know where NOT to get a fork to take to work to eat your pasta with.

Comments

holly_fly 34

Friday 30 June 2017 2:01

That's so nasty. I'd wash every fork from now on... better yet, buy new and keep them in a safe place. XD

Talented73 54

Friday 30 June 2017 20:49

Better yet, keep a set of your own utensils!

Glowworm56 26

Friday 30 June 2017 3:46

Well, now you definitely know where NOT to get a fork to take to work to eat your pasta with.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 30 June 2017 11:47

And you certainly don't want to know what he's doing with your pens!

Talented73 54

Friday 30 June 2017 20:50

THEPENISMIGHTIERTHANTHESWORD.

Exaspera 54

Friday 30 June 2017 7:50

Give all of those forks to him and get new ones!

sunshine1421 14

Friday 30 June 2017 20:06

lmao sorry thats so wrong but pretty funny.... boys really grow up... on the plus side youve slowly built up an immunity to poison ivy

Talented73 54

Friday 30 June 2017 20:48

Sometimes, it's just better not to know. SMH

Burle 17

Saturday 1 July 2017 3:46

What is the purpose of scratching poison ivy with forks?

INDYSTRUCTABLE 43

Saturday 1 July 2017 5:07

That's so disgusting. I wouldn't allow him over my house anymore. I can't help but imagine scooping a mixture of dry skin and food into my mouth. My god, OP! I sympathize...

TheLostCauseFML 40

Saturday 1 July 2017 14:52

That's just... ew.. Your brother isn't the smartest. Maybe he's adopted?

pntgirl95 14

Sunday 2 July 2017 20:12

Can't your throat close up from that, ingesting the oils from it and all that? I know it's bad to burn and inhale it but I think this would be dangerous too right?