Intimacy: ED FML

ED FML

By Anonymous - 22/04/2011 02:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to console my drunk dad over his girlfriend breaking up with him. When he said, "You know why we broke up don't you?" I replied, "Yeah, you were fighting a lot, right?" Wrong. I then had to explain to him that his erectile dysfunction wasn't something to be embarrassed about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 341

You deserved it 3 515

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Same thing different taste

By idontevencareanymore - 23/05/2014 21:25 - United States - Jarrell

Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 206

You deserved it 4 704

Misery loves company

By Anonymous - 03/10/2011 21:41 - United Kingdom

Today, my 20 year-old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 907

You deserved it 5 802

By porn daddy - 21/06/2017 00:00

Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 080

You deserved it 448

By Author - 24/02/2014 22:22 - United States - Naples

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 412

You deserved it 6 838

By Anonymous - 22/05/2009 08:18 - Australia

Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 829

You deserved it 3 843

By Anonymous - 12/08/2014 17:55 - United States - Newport

Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 393

You deserved it 3 376

Dad jokes!

By Chels - 11/05/2011 05:17 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 484

You deserved it 5 318

Parental advice

By ifeeldirty - 27/10/2011 12:22 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 102

You deserved it 8 900

By yeah why not - 06/04/2013 17:06 - Norway

Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 853

You deserved it 3 004

By Anonymous - 16/11/2014 00:04 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I asked my dad for advice. I recently got drunk and had a one-night stand. I feel terrible, because I'm engaged to a wonderful lady. My dad just said, "You did the right thing, son, keep it up. She's gonna steal half ya shit in the divorce anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 770

You deserved it 34 440

enonymous 8

Friday 22 April 2011 8:29

Sounds hard. did he need a stiff drink to calm his nerves? I hope you told him he was a stand up guy and didn't deserve for her to bring him down.

YankeesUniverse 0

Friday 22 April 2011 8:18

Meow!

Comments

xNenise 0

Friday 22 April 2011 8:29

she shouldn't have left him because of that

DFlit1 0

Friday 22 April 2011 8:54

some bitchiz is cruel

hedgerow 0

Friday 22 April 2011 10:06

bitches is crazy!

enonymous 8

Friday 22 April 2011 8:29

Sounds hard. did he need a stiff drink to calm his nerves? I hope you told him he was a stand up guy and didn't deserve for her to bring him down.

emmaness 0

Friday 22 April 2011 8:33

total fail.

xxGheTToGumbYxx 16

Friday 22 April 2011 8:34

Hopefully they weren't too hard on him

emmaness 0

Friday 22 April 2011 8:38

another fail.

jcrob 0

Friday 22 April 2011 8:50

I like it

miguelwale 6

Friday 22 April 2011 8:58

creative wordplay (:

sarahlynnxxxx 0

Friday 22 April 2011 11:30

#15 haha i like it :)

similies06 0

Friday 17 June 2011 10:08

you're a asshole 15.

KyleRen 13

Thursday 16 June 2016 23:55

I think you've already beaten that joke to death

Livinia 11

Friday 22 April 2011 8:32

Talk about awkward...

newzealandkiwi 0

Friday 22 April 2011 10:27

gill

Livinia 11

Friday 22 April 2011 10:28

Fifth_Dimension 0

Friday 22 April 2011 8:32

I choked on a viagra and my neck has been sriff for hours!

hiyourcute 0

Friday 22 April 2011 8:36

Michael Caine + Mike Myers = best movie everrr!

bigscarybunny95 0

Friday 22 April 2011 8:42

ahh thank you!

Armaan 2

Friday 22 April 2011 8:33

lol

aaronruark 2

Friday 22 April 2011 8:40

yeah my dads the same way he unfortunately takes a lot of medication and that's how his happened **** your life it sucks to know

Fx13mz 7

Friday 22 April 2011 8:42

You should help him out with that. #Wincest

MuffyStJacques 0

Friday 22 April 2011 8:43

Thank God I don't talk to my dad anymore.

dreamering 16

Friday 22 April 2011 8:49

Tell your dad about Viagra and show him the FML about the “Black Sharpie”. He will find lots of info about **** sites to make him hard like a champion.