Intimacy: Educate your sons

Educate your sons

By Anonymous - 18/07/2015 05:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 088

You deserved it 5 859

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Same thing different taste

By Joe - 19/10/2009 04:32 - Cambodia

Today, whilst celebrating my birthday with my friends and family, I met a girl at the bar who seemed interested. She became very disinterested and left after my mother whispered in her ear "If you go home with my son make sure he wears a condom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 112

You deserved it 2 963

By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 10:34 - United States - Bessemer

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 541

You deserved it 15 220

Sex ed done right, sort of

By Anonymous - 18/06/2023 12:00

Today, we discovered that our 14 year-old son is having sex. I was mad as hell at him, but by the end his dad completely took over the conversation, congratulated the hell out of him, and gave him money for condoms. If I wasn’t there, I genuinely think he would’ve asked our son for tips on infidelity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 866

Bad student at the school of life

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 00:00

Today, despite spending literal years educating my son about safe sex and warning him not to do something stupid like get a girl pregnant at 16, he actually surpassed my expectations. He got her pregnant at 17. Plus she gave him a nasty STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 391

You deserved it 239

By don'tdrinkthat - 03/11/2013 22:27 - United States - Quincy

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 268

You deserved it 4 827

By accident - 14/02/2014 22:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 060

You deserved it 5 829

By Anonymous - 21/02/2015 13:46

Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 156

You deserved it 4 058

The best method!

By Anonymous - 04/01/2020 18:00

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 982

You deserved it 954

Nice try, chief

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 980

You deserved it 15 188

By Anonymous - 25/01/2013 05:39 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 902

You deserved it 6 338

TheGolfGTI 24

Sunday 19 July 2015 5:42

You need to have a serious talk. That is not okay.

MDoremis 38

Sunday 19 July 2015 5:39

You must be so proud.

Comments

MathIsStupid 11

Monday 20 July 2015 15:32

The Bill Cosby is strong with this one.

goozeo 11

Monday 20 July 2015 17:56

"No matter what he never listens" doesn't absolve you of any fault. You need to show him who's boss

messymessiah 11

Tuesday 21 July 2015 1:10

Well you raised him...

HowToGetFired 15

Tuesday 21 July 2015 3:03

Taught him well ?

militarybrat 21

Tuesday 21 July 2015 5:36

You still use condoms for anal jackass. And yeah, thats rape.

mrblackdocument 18

Tuesday 21 July 2015 6:03

Oh!

jlujan00_fml 9

Tuesday 21 July 2015 17:56

If he's old enough to go clubbing he is too old to be living at your house sir.

crys777 5

Wednesday 22 July 2015 8:25

The correct term is rapist. Any person being drunk is not in a state of mind to consent to sex.

thunder_chicken 5

Saturday 25 July 2015 16:33

You deserved that for being a horrible parent.

YoursAlways98 13

Sunday 26 July 2015 5:28

Forcing unprotected anal sex on strangers...wow your son sucks.

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 066

You deserved it 3 521

Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 997

You deserved it 68 601

The Top

Today, while working in my pharmacy, a patient told me that he sometimes wants to jump the counter and skin me alive. He has no more refills, and his doctor is out of town for the week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 443

You deserved it 2 115

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 751

You deserved it 8 518

Today, I got dragged along to a family dinner. Some idiot invited my douchebag vegan uncle, who spent half the night making condescending remarks and lecturing us on how disgusting it was to have steak on offer at the table. A fistfight eventually erupted, and the cops were called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 715

You deserved it 3 984

Today, I was in line at the store behind a lady and her young daughter. Trying to be polite I smiled at the little girl. She burst into tears asking her mommy 'what is wrong with that ladies teeth'. Apparently braces on a 25 year old is not 'kid friendly'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 328

You deserved it 3 292

Today, I was on the plane asleep. I woke up after feeling the plane jolt and I screamed at the top of my lungs. The little girl next to me told me I was a sissy. Everyone on the plane laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 086

You deserved it 30 525

Today, the boy I tutor failed his math test. As a result, the family fired me. The boy failed because he forgot to write his name at the top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 151

You deserved it 2 303