Intimacy: Educate your sons - FML

Educate your sons

By Anonymous - 18/07/2015 05:00 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 088

You deserved it 5 859

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Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Joe - 19/10/2009 04:32 - Cambodia

Spicy

Today, whilst celebrating my birthday with my friends and family, I met a girl at the bar who seemed interested. She became very disinterested and left after my mother whispered in her ear "If you go home with my son make sure he wears a condom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 112

You deserved it 2 963

By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 10:34 - United States - Bessemer

Spicy

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 541

You deserved it 15 220

Sex ed done right, sort of

By Anonymous - 18/06/2023 12:00

Spicy

Today, we discovered that our 14 year-old son is having sex. I was mad as hell at him, but by the end his dad completely took over the conversation, congratulated the hell out of him, and gave him money for condoms. If I wasn’t there, I genuinely think he would’ve asked our son for tips on infidelity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 866

Bad student at the school of life

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 00:00

Spicy

Today, despite spending literal years educating my son about safe sex and warning him not to do something stupid like get a girl pregnant at 16, he actually surpassed my expectations. He got her pregnant at 17. Plus she gave him a nasty STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 391

You deserved it 239

By don'tdrinkthat - 03/11/2013 22:27 - United States - Quincy

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 268

You deserved it 4 827

By accident - 14/02/2014 22:41 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 060

You deserved it 5 829

By Anonymous - 21/02/2015 13:46

Spicy

Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 156

You deserved it 4 058

The best method!

By Anonymous - 04/01/2020 18:00

Spicy

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 982

You deserved it 954

Nice try, chief

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 980

You deserved it 15 188

By Anonymous - 25/01/2013 05:39 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 902

You deserved it 6 338

Next

Top comments

TheGolfGTI 24

Sunday 19 July 2015 5:42

You need to have a serious talk. That is not okay.

MDoremis 38

Sunday 19 July 2015 5:39

You must be so proud.

Comments

pocketpixie90 6

Sunday 19 July 2015 18:58

so not ok.

tarlax 11

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:30

That's sick, is your son Alain4343?

ezrajab 22

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:47

Sounds like he would make anyone happy

Redgy22 26

Sunday 19 July 2015 20:19

Whoa, this went bad real fast.

MandieL 27

Sunday 19 July 2015 20:45

Comments keep disappearing from is thread...

mrpresident95 6

Sunday 19 July 2015 21:31

He isn't wrong.

gottageek 17

Sunday 19 July 2015 23:01

Sounds like a few STDs waiting to happen.

tinyalmeida 11

Sunday 19 July 2015 23:38

Wow, sounds like you need to teach him a lesson about respecting women. That's so sad and creepy.

arrowgold 19

Monday 20 July 2015 0:32

Yeah, you should talk to him about consent.

wolf12king 12

Monday 20 July 2015 2:08

I know this is bad but doesn't he know the difference between anal and babysitting.

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The Top

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 350

You deserved it 38 334

Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 274

You deserved it 4 584

The Top

Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 846

You deserved it 20 582

Today, after my girlfriend made a huge dinner, we got frisky. About 15 minutes in, I threw up the dinner she made, all over her. She hasn’t talked to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 282

You deserved it 453

Today, I found out my best friend made a program to reply to my text messages with random sentences from a list. It took 15 minutes of texting before I finally noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 743

You deserved it 6 348

Today, my son was crying and my dad's way of helping was to go to the pub for an hour, then come back after my son had cried himself to sleep. I’d have kicked him out but he does a lot of other things around here, and I couldn’t cope without him. It doesn’t stop him being an insensitive prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 887

Today, I went to my former high school's homecoming game. A classmate who I always had a crush on looks up and goes "Brian!", holding her arms out for a hug. I hug her and she seems a bit suprised but hugs back anyway. I get up and see another Brian from our class behind me. Shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 669

You deserved it 4 422

Today, I cut myself deeply with an expensive razor that advertised it's impossible to cut yourself with. Twice. Guess I always was an overachiever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 436

You deserved it 6 676