Animals: Every day is Caturday - FML

Every day is Caturday

By Zoey_M - 08/07/2013 23:26 - Saudi Arabia - Riyadh

Today, my older brother told me that the only reason I like cats is because they control minds. I laughed. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 214

You deserved it 3 758

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Same thing different taste

By Christine - 09/05/2009 06:08 - United States

Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" In a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 000

You deserved it 51 208

Take it seriously

By Sis in crisis - 27/10/2024 03:00 - United States - Glendale

Today, I had to temporarily block my brother from calling me because every day for the last week or two he has called me just to yell, "THEY ARE EATING THE DOGS! THEY ARE EATING THE CATS!" before hanging up. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 138

By My rapey cat (doesn't even have balls) - 21/04/2018 01:30

Today, my 20-year-old sister is taking care of my cat while I am out of state. She sent a photo of him "playing in a silly way" with her kitty. I then had to very seriously explain to her that in the photo, my cat and her cat were trying to make more cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 200

You deserved it 427

By PO'd big bro - 13/01/2015 01:11 - United States - Toccoa

Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 027

You deserved it 2 280

Cats will be cats

By Seasoned Cat Veteran - 18/04/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I'm watching my brother's cat while he's gone. I'm a seasoned cat veteran, having been around cats my whole life, but I never thought I would ever have to say, "Bob, why did you jump into the trashcan again?" with complete seriousness. This cat is WEIRD. And I've seen quite a few oddball cats before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 657

You deserved it 194

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 03:16 - United States

Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 211

You deserved it 3 626

By Username - 29/07/2011 23:36 - United States

Today, my younger brother and I got into a fight over who the favorite child is. My mom overheard, came in the living room and said, "It's your little brother, now shut up." She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 334

You deserved it 7 350

By seriously - 24/05/2013 07:04 - United States

Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 741

You deserved it 4 575

By Normal - 13/12/2009 04:39 - United States

Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 003

You deserved it 3 875

By hairless - 09/10/2011 03:53 - Canada

Today, I learned the hard way that your little brother is not joking when he threatens to shave your eyebrows if you don't let him watch cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 448

You deserved it 6 780

Next

Top comments

Aeroxx1337 17

Tuesday 9 July 2013 8:37

Cats can't control minds, that's ridiculous. A cat isn't making me type this. Please help.

Pwn17 25

Tuesday 9 July 2013 8:28

I can haz cheezburger... You gives it now... I commandz it.

Comments

clueless05 12

Tuesday 9 July 2013 10:04

Well, it's true! How else would they convince us to let them leave fur all over our houses and feed them?

kaynorr 9

Tuesday 9 July 2013 10:24

Are you my sister?

SrakaSrakasta 20

Tuesday 9 July 2013 11:29

Didn't you know that OP? Silly hooman.

Pordexel 5

Tuesday 9 July 2013 13:05

Cats can't control minds. They are our friendspleasehelpithasagun

petragirl 1

Tuesday 9 July 2013 13:52

Toxoplasma gondii, look it up. People who have it are more likely to have cats because it allows the parasite to complete its lifecycle.

redbandit9877 12

Tuesday 9 July 2013 15:30

You see? They already have you believing your brother is the crazy one. Well played cats, well played.

unixdude 9

Tuesday 9 July 2013 16:41

Jinn are totally real, but cats being mind readers is silly?

Grimnirwher9 21

Tuesday 9 July 2013 17:41

Well, he's not entirely wrong, although it's somewhat overstated. Scientists recently discovered that the fur of cats contains a substance that, when assimilated through your skin, as happens when petting a cat, releases endorfine and dopamine, making you feel happy. I suppose you could see this as a mild form of mind control.

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 9 July 2013 19:06

yes, petting the pussy always makes me happy.

Omniprism 14

Tuesday 9 July 2013 19:00

Actually there is a study out there that cats can control their owners. He's a smart kid. Give him more credit.

Binglebeee 16

Tuesday 9 July 2013 19:23

Believe it or not, cats may actually release some form of pheramone that makes one change moods towards them. Apparently there were some tests done, but I dunno if it's actually true, something to think about though

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I have an HR meeting to discuss my team's performance. This is the same HR that refuses to hire more people because my department is full. The same HR that complains when tasks are completed late due to the team being overworked, yet refuses to take any suggestions. How do you give feedback to people like this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 76

Today, and ever since I told my wife I had sacked my secretary, a pretty redhead, I’ve noticed my wife has started reverting to her old habit of getting headaches on Fridays, which is normally sex night. Funny how this wasn’t a problem when I had a pretty secretary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 994

You deserved it 1 050

The Top

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 782

You deserved it 4 626

Today, I was at my doctor's office. I thought I had a kidney stone. Turns out I'm pregnant and I have a kidney stone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 471

You deserved it 5 404

Today, I was reading my girlfriend's girly magazine. There was an article stating that if a girl tells a guy his dick is the perfect size, she really means that it is too small. My girlfriend claims everything in the magazine is right. She told me my dick was the perfect size last weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 756

You deserved it 8 667

Today, I jumped into a pile of snow which had built up against a wall. Turns out it wasn't snow but a pile of cement covered by an inch of snow. I now have a 3 inch cut along my leg and a sprained wrist from falling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 657

You deserved it 29 144

Today, my son is a real ass. My mother died and he literally only booked off half a day to attend his own grandmother's funeral, doesn’t plan to spend time with me after the burial, and since he booked it, all he has done is complain about the three meetings he’s going to miss that morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 471

You deserved it 262

Today, my junkie son came to the house showered, in clean clothes, with sobriety chips from NA, full of apologies, and we had a good cry about his recovery. I went to the kitchen for tissues, for less than a minute, but when I got back he’d stolen my purse, television, and spare change jar with about £75 in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 191

You deserved it 168