Intimacy: Excuses

Excuses

By sucks - 12/03/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very Christian family, I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "Is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 295 561

You deserved it 54 147

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Same thing different taste

White lie

By Sorrymom - 11/08/2017 01:30

Today, I had to watch as my deeply religious mother broke out in tears of joy, as she said how happy she was that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my fiancé and I fucked on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 455

You deserved it 916

Repent!

By Mauro - 22/03/2022 16:00

Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 338

By linn - 27/09/2012 20:14 - United States

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 133

You deserved it 3 210

By Missy - 02/02/2011 18:16 - United States

Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready. Her reply? "Well, you can't stay a virgin forever." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 223

You deserved it 17 280

By gotta love my momma - 28/08/2014 05:08 - United States - Folsom

Today, I got married. My booze-hound mother made a toast, and told a story about how she once walked in on us having sex. My husband's family is very religious, and we told them we weren't having sex until marriage. Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 283

You deserved it 11 307

By Yulia - 09/03/2009 10:09 - United States

Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 231

You deserved it 5 221

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 108

Uptight girl, she's been living in her uptight world…

By TheVirginJenny - 07/10/2012 00:05 - United States - Spanaway

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 295

You deserved it 7 890

ICYMI

By senelbeat - 03/07/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 321

You deserved it 8 596

By Told_You_So - 09/07/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 079

You deserved it 5 087

goshkoganwtf 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 20:14

Your mother is a bitch. No offence to you. But its just mean what she did Im sorry.

EmilyMarie 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 20:15

I say you should get pregnant and see how she responds. (Unless you're male I suppose.)

Comments

0 3

Friday 13 March 2009 9:33

Why would you walk up to her and announce it? Also, how is being "very Christian" relevant? You can just be a good person without seeking perpetual praise.

MoonTiger 4

Friday 13 March 2009 10:53

/respect for your mom. Rare to find moms with a nice sense of humour

DAwingman 0

Friday 13 March 2009 11:53

LOL wat a slack mom...

u2fanatic2012 0

Friday 13 March 2009 15:42

Rock on #46, 47, 56, and 91. Hang in there. God bless you.

Amkii 0

Friday 13 March 2009 18:52

Your mom's a bitch. It's your decision, despite what reasons you made it for. She should be happy you're not a **** and getting knocked up right and left.

LauRAWRen 0

Friday 13 March 2009 20:34

is this true? ur mum's a bitch

Music1obsessed 0

Friday 13 March 2009 20:52

I think that was a really mean thing for your mom to say. i think its so immature all you guys that are saying the mom was right. Its a personal desicion whether your christian or not but to #93 - (most) christians don't believe in pre-maratel sex which is why coming from a "very christian" family, you would think that the mom would be happy that the daughter decided that. I'm not saying sex before marrige is right or wrong, but if a person decides they will wait until marraige to have sex, you really should respect their desicion, no one is making fun of you for HAVING sex, so don't make fun of people for not having sex.

thebigO_fml 0

Friday 13 March 2009 21:05

LMAO!!!seriously that is pretty funny!

could_be_funny 0

Friday 13 March 2009 23:00

haha what a awesome mom! OWNED!

Zic_fml 7

Friday 13 March 2009 23:34

lol, that's like neglecting the one of the most important parts of human beings ; sexuality. WHether you claim it unimportant or irrelevant, it still plays a major role in your subconcience which you cannot control. Marriage is the ultimate commitment between two persons, from whom we can assume those 2 persons must know each other very well. And tell me, how it is possible without having a, to be immaturely figurative, "test ride"? No, it is not. So when you marry and wonder "Wow, I think this marriage is great, but there is something that just feels wrong..." Look no further. Would you have ever bought that TV without testing it for yourself? Not really. Of course, this comparison may not be the fittest one,, but it strikes the general idea.