Intimacy: Family Matters - FML

Family Matters

By whyme102008 - 13/07/2011 06:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152 112

You deserved it 8 671

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Taylor Easley - 17/03/2012 04:53 - United States

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 196

You deserved it 3 154

By ~__~ - 20/03/2015 21:23

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 660

You deserved it 2 463

By drunkboysgf - 21/10/2011 07:39 - Canada

Today, I had to get my boyfriend's mom to help me get my boyfriend in his house because he was so drunk. He broke up with me for getting him in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 613

You deserved it 5 231

Jailbird

By blondebarbie271 - 26/07/2015 23:55 - United States - Center Barnstead

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 348

You deserved it 14 501

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 15/06/2023 10:00

Today, I caught my dad stealing my money again, after I'd warned him he was on his last chance. I threw him out, since he’s been sleeping rough on my sofa. He reported me to the authorities for "elder abuse" and showed them fresh bruises I know the conniving old bastard gave himself. I was handcuffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 94

By No one special. - 12/12/2010 05:28 - United States

Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 498

You deserved it 2 433

By Username - 20/06/2011 15:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 682

You deserved it 4 261

All in the family

By notasgood - 12/01/2010 23:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend dumped me so he could sleep with my mom without feeling guilty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 614

You deserved it 3 346

Fun for all the family

By Anonymous - 14/04/2021 02:00

Today, my mom and dad got into a fight, during which my dad said to my mom that her health conditions were of her own doing. Because of that, I got pissed and had a fight with my dad, taking my mom's side. Turns out, my mom took his side and ratted me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 282

By Anonymous - 08/01/2016 18:23

Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 134

You deserved it 3 563

Next

Top comments

unholymasta 4

Wednesday 13 July 2011 16:02

I think your dad had the right idea but shouldn't have physically assaulted your boyfriend. Hope you dumped his cheating ass.

marinus_fml 19

Wednesday 13 July 2011 16:05

At least it wasn't your mum you had to bail out after hitting your boyfriend when he made a move on your dad!

Comments

Nosmo75 4

Wednesday 13 July 2011 17:47

Wow. ****** your life... D8>

frenchie101 2

Wednesday 13 July 2011 17:47

wow sorry u had to go thru that...

JennaMason 6

Wednesday 13 July 2011 17:56

JERRY SPRINGER

oknow21 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 15:40

hit me up on kik oknow21

MrScholl 4

Wednesday 13 July 2011 18:00

atleast he kept it in the family :)

mezochan 29

Wednesday 13 July 2011 18:03

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

FMMFL1992 3

Thursday 14 July 2011 4:26

A Jerry Springer comment. that's new I haven't heard that before

Bofferding_fml 6

Wednesday 13 July 2011 18:03

Get control over your emotions.. never attack someone out of rage, act like you don't care when you find out, wait 8 days, buy a ski mask and a metal baseball bat, and beat the guy to the hospital. less problems with the law, more fun!

iluvcrazipepl 9

Wednesday 13 July 2011 18:05

Wow FYL dump your bfs ass

TheBlackCops 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 18:11

Damn, your boyfriends a boss.

supahnazi 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 18:18

hell, i cant blame him. i think i honestly wouldve killed ur boyfriend if i were ur dad. nd wow he had sex with ur MOM? isnt tht adultery??

camo97 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 18:19

made up story. finally got something posted

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my husband threw up in the shower after drinking almost a whole bottle of wine. The shower won't drain now. Happy Thanksgiving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 184

You deserved it 2 950

Today, my boyfriend is coming over. We haven't seen each other for a while so for a surprise, a few days ago, I decided to shave my pubic hair. I've come up in a huge rash that looks like some sort of infection. Not quite the sexy surprise I was hoping for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 740

You deserved it 6 900

The Top

Today, I was getting onto an airplane and happened to admire the stewardess. I was walking onto the plane and was just about to talk to her when my foot slipped into the crack between the boarding ramp and the plane. Not only did she laugh as I limped to my seat but now I have bruised nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 469

You deserved it 10 795

Today, I learned how it feels like when you fall off a second floor balcony with mom's flower pot, landing on your back. My mom got pissed because of her beloved flowers, and gave me a lecture while I rolled on the ground in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 123

Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 078

You deserved it 4 358

Today, I had to dress up as the school mascot for a big game. The costume was incredibly hot, and I ended up fainting on the field. When I came to, I was surrounded by worried kids and my head was in the lap of the opposing team's mascot, who was trying to give me CPR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 93

Today, I filled out a political survey for a psychology experiment. A really cute girl was doing it, too. We hit it off and flirted through the surveys, and I asked her out when it was done. Then I found out it was really an attraction experiment and she was in on it. She was acting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 892

You deserved it 7 813

Today, my long-distance boyfriend wanted to spend time online with me. He kept quiet on Skype and went on a hundred different stupid websites, laughing by himself. Afterwards, he told me he really enjoyed our time together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 259

You deserved it 7 009