Intimacy: Family Matters

Family Matters

By whyme102008 - 13/07/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152 112

You deserved it 8 671

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Same thing different taste

By Taylor Easley - 17/03/2012 04:53 - United States

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 196

You deserved it 3 154

By ~__~ - 20/03/2015 21:23

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 660

You deserved it 2 463

By drunkboysgf - 21/10/2011 07:39 - Canada

Today, I had to get my boyfriend's mom to help me get my boyfriend in his house because he was so drunk. He broke up with me for getting him in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 613

You deserved it 5 231

Jailbird

By blondebarbie271 - 26/07/2015 23:55 - United States - Center Barnstead

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 348

You deserved it 14 501

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 15/06/2023 10:00

Today, I caught my dad stealing my money again, after I'd warned him he was on his last chance. I threw him out, since he’s been sleeping rough on my sofa. He reported me to the authorities for "elder abuse" and showed them fresh bruises I know the conniving old bastard gave himself. I was handcuffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 94

By No one special. - 12/12/2010 05:28 - United States

Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 498

You deserved it 2 433

By Username - 20/06/2011 15:57 - United States

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 682

You deserved it 4 261

All in the family

By notasgood - 12/01/2010 23:54 - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me so he could sleep with my mom without feeling guilty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 614

You deserved it 3 346

Fun for all the family

By Anonymous - 14/04/2021 02:00

Today, my mom and dad got into a fight, during which my dad said to my mom that her health conditions were of her own doing. Because of that, I got pissed and had a fight with my dad, taking my mom's side. Turns out, my mom took his side and ratted me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 282

By Anonymous - 08/01/2016 18:23

Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 134

You deserved it 3 563

unholymasta 4

Wednesday 13 July 2011 16:02

I think your dad had the right idea but shouldn't have physically assaulted your boyfriend. Hope you dumped his cheating ass.

marinus_fml 19

Wednesday 13 July 2011 16:05

At least it wasn't your mum you had to bail out after hitting your boyfriend when he made a move on your dad!

Comments

sarawwh 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 16:49

JERRY JERRY!!!!

pike1346 3

Wednesday 13 July 2011 16:50

damn! that is all I got

FreebirdIII 1

Wednesday 13 July 2011 16:50

I threw up a little in my mouth.

BreeAshlee 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 17:22

...ew

aznamqFAIL 2

Wednesday 13 July 2011 16:53

your life is so ****** up right now ;(

Senior29 8

Wednesday 13 July 2011 16:57

ur boyfriend shud be the 1 in jail :p

iluvGB 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 4:42

woahh hottie ! u gotss abs!!

Senior29 8

Thursday 14 July 2011 8:02

thx :)

eaarreola 3

Wednesday 13 July 2011 16:58

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

krysxkatastrophe 14

Wednesday 13 July 2011 16:58

Now that's what I call a "************"! Bah-bum-chich. No? Alright, then.

plakjekaas 2

Wednesday 13 July 2011 17:06

tbh, i think 82 is waaay too late for that joke xD

Kar98 6

Wednesday 13 July 2011 17:00

Texas is awesome that way. I bet OP has a 903 area code.

Sniper3000 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 14:35

like that's the only area code......

rapunzel3416 28

Wednesday 13 July 2011 17:00

Ok the Jerry jokes are dead now enough is enough.

lmaoatall 6

Wednesday 13 July 2011 18:37

I agree! where the hell are the Stifler jokes?

ashleii2010 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 17:05

you mean your ex :/..?

Cleao18317 11

Wednesday 13 July 2011 17:09

Damn I love your hair!

Keywords

Party Lonely Love Awkward ADHD Cars Transportation Ironic Work Mental health Vacation Grandparents Accident Miscellaneous Annoying Health Covid Kids Cute Shopping Coworkers Animals Dogs Photography Art Videos Intimacy Exhausted Sex Scams

The Top

Today, a girl was tailgating me, even though I was going at speed limit. Annoyed, I drove 10 mph under the speed limit, and every time she honked, I went 5 mph slower. Too bad she got the last laugh… I was pulled over for "reckless driving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 007

You deserved it 47 415

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 372

You deserved it 1 985

The Top

Today, my husband ranted about how children are awful, and parents who claim they love their kids are complete liars, and if everyone admitted that we hated our kids and resented them for existing, there’d be a lot more happy childless couples. We don’t even have kids for him to hate this much. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 237

Today, I remembered that I have a mood tracker my therapist gave me that I haven't filled out. Because I wasn't in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 405

Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 860

You deserved it 8 410

Today, at age thirty, my dad gave me the first compliment he's ever given me: "Remember to wash the pan out. Oh, and good job doing your chores and your mother's today." And everyone wonders why it took until last year for me to figure out I'm the same gender as this shitbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 385

Today, I was telling my entire cocktail party about the time I accidentally flashed my volleyball team at a pool party. While trying to demonstrate how it happened, I accidentally pulled my dress down and flashed everyone again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 742

You deserved it 46 082

Today, my girlfriend came up to me and told me we would never do anything sexual in our relationship. She said I was too adorable to take seriously in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137 080

You deserved it 10 550