Family, Poopoo peepee and Health: Fart wars

Fart wars

By district12 - 18/02/2012 22:22 - United Kingdom

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 948

You deserved it 2 920

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Same thing different taste

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 807

You deserved it 36 005

By Susan - 28/02/2012 11:55 - Canada

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 958

You deserved it 6 840

By beautifulme - 31/01/2012 06:22 - United States

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 128

You deserved it 4 889

It's a gas gas gas

By Dani - 28/11/2011 12:34 - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 380

You deserved it 9 476

Single shot

By irulan - 14/01/2020 03:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 540

You deserved it 599

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 20:09 - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 327

You deserved it 8 049

Skidmarks

By smelly asses - 17/09/2020 07:50

Today, my husband and my daughter engaged in a fart war. Guess who go to do a pile of shitty laundry, while the other texted his friends about the “hilarious” incident? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 216

By Mj - 20/07/2016 00:28 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 769

You deserved it 4 275

Gassy

By Anonymous - 10/07/2022 06:00

Today, we had cabbage. A lot of cabbage. The farts are so horrid I can barely stand myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 654

You deserved it 275

By Anonymous - 26/01/2019 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 126

You deserved it 389

kmccain 27

Sunday 19 February 2012 2:35

May the odds be ever in your favor

paulkeppel 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 2:34

gas them out until they surrender. show no mercy!

Comments

ftw487 9

Sunday 19 February 2012 6:47

That sucks for u OP but i cant wait to see that movie

alival 12

Friday 6 April 2012 4:07

I'm seeing it for the third time tomorrow!

majorfacepalm 3

Sunday 19 February 2012 6:56

You have an awesome family. HUNGER GAMES FOR THE WIN!!!

ouchie1013 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 7:03

what I think, you need to get in on the games and become the fartingjay!

aquaeyedsiren 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 7:12

you better just hope the females don't gang up on you males and start queefing to get the upper hand.... FATALITY.....

harryeverdeen10 6

Sunday 19 February 2012 7:31

May the odds be ever in your fart!

aigroeg 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 7:33

Wow cool family bro!

Egao_fml 8

Sunday 19 February 2012 7:40

May the odds EVER be in your favor!

MissHayleyJames 7

Sunday 19 February 2012 7:51

Be ever not ever be. Don't screw up the greatness.

MissHayleyJames 7

Sunday 19 February 2012 7:56

At least you're not caught up in a "I can't kill him because I secretly love him even though I don't know it yet while I think I love this other guy but really don't" scenario. Then farting would be the least of your worries. That and those crazy monkeys from the Quarter Quell. Just release some tracker jackers on your family and the odds will be ever in your favor then. Yes, I'm sorry, I'm a nerd. I'll go hide in my corner now.