Family, Poopoo peepee and Health: Fart wars

Fart wars

By district12 - 18/02/2012 22:22 - United Kingdom

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 948

You deserved it 2 920

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Same thing different taste

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 807

You deserved it 36 005

By Susan - 28/02/2012 11:55 - Canada

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 958

You deserved it 6 840

By beautifulme - 31/01/2012 06:22 - United States

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 128

You deserved it 4 889

It's a gas gas gas

By Dani - 28/11/2011 12:34 - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 380

You deserved it 9 476

Single shot

By irulan - 14/01/2020 03:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 540

You deserved it 599

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 20:09 - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 327

You deserved it 8 049

Skidmarks

By smelly asses - 17/09/2020 07:50

Today, my husband and my daughter engaged in a fart war. Guess who go to do a pile of shitty laundry, while the other texted his friends about the “hilarious” incident? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 216

By Mj - 20/07/2016 00:28 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 769

You deserved it 4 275

Gassy

By Anonymous - 10/07/2022 06:00

Today, we had cabbage. A lot of cabbage. The farts are so horrid I can barely stand myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 654

You deserved it 275

By Anonymous - 26/01/2019 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 126

You deserved it 389

kmccain 27

Sunday 19 February 2012 2:35

May the odds be ever in your favor

paulkeppel 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 2:34

gas them out until they surrender. show no mercy!

Comments

jem137451 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 3:35

At least if you win you never have to play I'n the games again.... Haha but sorry OP

jem137451 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 3:37

In- stupid word correct!

dessaye 19

Sunday 19 February 2012 4:00

There's always next year! Don't forget the Quarter Quell :P

Shelta957 13

Sunday 19 February 2012 4:13

That's only of she survives this round!! :P

jem137451 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 5:41

Ah, yes, hopefully they don't have katniss's bad luck by having to play again

Petey_Piie 1

Sunday 19 February 2012 3:39

I love OP's name. Be strong! District 12 victors have can-do attitudes! Fight back and you will win.

PurpleAddict 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 4:10

YOUR FAMILY IS AMAZING

guitarsonist666 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 4:14

What's the problem?? That's my house everyday!!

nabila21 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 4:15

I need to read that book .

ftw487 9

Sunday 19 February 2012 6:49

U should read them. theyre really goof

ftw487 9

Sunday 19 February 2012 6:50

Oops i ment good

soupisyummy 13

Sunday 19 February 2012 7:32

Reeeeeeaaaaadddd itttttttt!!!!! The whole series is.....jmdjcskxmsuxbskxidbchxjzk SEX!!

Melania890 9

Sunday 19 February 2012 21:32

Oh my god, please please please read them. It's got to be the best trilogy ever. :)

mynameispickle 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 4:37

Umm...what? At least your family is comfortable around eachother!

MickGold 8

Sunday 19 February 2012 4:47

BOMBS AWAY!!!

bananabuttercup 8

Sunday 19 February 2012 5:00

Sounds like you don't really know what the Hunger Games are.

mattisons19 7

Sunday 19 February 2012 5:16

Sounds a lot like my family xD

simplyunique907 4

Sunday 19 February 2012 5:23

wow

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Weddings Love My ex Jealousy Friends AITA Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Relatable Therapy Mental health Thanksgiving Covid Argument Parenting Kids Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Money Work

The Top

Today, I went out to dinner with a cute, funny, smart, amazing girl. Or at least I thought she was cute, until she started coughing after her meal. She explained that she coughs after she eats. Can you say dealbreaker? FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 698

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 186

You deserved it 9 150

The Top

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 149

You deserved it 2 367

Today, I took an extra Xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 383

You deserved it 10 733

Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 115

You deserved it 2 576

Today, and every single time someone I actually feel comfortable with comes into my life, I end up fucking everything up. Whenever they don't reply, I won't for a while too, just to see if they'll check on me but they never do. Am I really that shitty? Is it so bad that I want to feel wanted? FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 672

Today, I was told that I was no longer being considered for the Prison Officer job I have been interviewed for, because a social media check showed I had liked a picture of drugs, so my character is inappropriate. I thought it was a picture of candy. I've never even tried weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 983

You deserved it 2 242

Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 108

You deserved it 9 496

Fart wars

Same thing different taste

It's a gas gas gas

Single shot

Skidmarks

Gassy

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